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Anna lived alone. Her husband had walked out on her years ago, and she had never divorced him. She never wanted him to be free of her. She was a beautiful woman and had her choice of male suitors.
Anna has chosen two men as her lovers, and she shares her time with them equally. Both of them are highly successful men who vie for her fulltime affections. Liam, a young bachelor who made money in investment banking, and Watson, a distinguished older gentleman. He is a very successful banker and CEO of a large regional bank, widowed with three beautiful daughters. They are all married and good friends with Marcy.
As we went inside, I saw Maryland, Marcy’s sister, was waiting for us. I wondered what they had to do with this debacle I was dealing with.
“Anna, what is going on? Maryland, why are you here?” I asked.
They looked at each other, and Anna said, “We know what happened, and we want to talk with you about it before you make a rash decision about the future of your marriage and your future life.”
“I really don’t think it is any of your business,” I said.
“Sit down, Eric, and listen!” she said.
“What we say may not change anything, but we want to make our plea anyway,” Anna said.
“OK, I have lost everything already, so what do I have to lose listening to you?” I asked.
Maryland brought me a beer and coffee for the two of them. She was the first to speak.
“Eric, twentythree years ago, I was eighteen years old and just learning about . I loved what I knew about it and wanted to learn more. During this time, Marcy was dating you and a few other guys. One of those was Larry. I had a mad crush on Larry and asked Marcy to ask him to teach me about how to have . She had moved past him, and you two were exclusive then. Marcy asked Larry, and he agreed but on one condition. Marcy had to continue to sleep with him.
Marcy didn’t like that arrangement, but we both thought it would be over in a short time, and since you were not married yet, it would be OK. Marcy wanted to tell you about it, but Mom told her not to, or you would probably leave her. We decided to keep it a secret.
Over the next year, Larry and I were lovers, and he was also Marcy’s lover. Larry was an incredible lover and an excellent teacher. He taught me everything. Marcy and I loved Larry and shared notes on his performance.
Meanwhile, you two were dating, and a year later, you married. Marcy had been Larry a couple of times a month all the time, but she broke off with Larry when you were engaged and focused on you only. Marcy loved you only, never Larry.
Larry and I became a lot more involved. We were having three or four times a week. Mom caught us a few times, and Larry tried to seduce Mom, too, but that never happened.
Once I was off to college, I missed Larry. He was such an incredible lover; none of the college guys could fuck like him. I talked to Marcy about him, and she told me to leave him and find a guy at college. I tried, but I could not get him out of my mind.
Summer came, and I started to fuck Larry again. He had broken up with the girl he was dating and stopped at the house. I was horny all the time then, so that night when Mom went on a date, Larry fucked me so good. I could not resist him, so we started again. He was incredible, and I just loved him.
Marcy heard from Mom that I was back with Larry, and she was upset. She had me ask him to dinner and came over to talk to him and ask him to leave me alone. I knew she was right, but there was just something about him that I could not resist.
When Marcy asked Larry to leave me alone, he just smiled but said it was up to me, knowing I loved him. She almost begged him, but he said the only way was for Marcy to date him one last time. Marcy told him no, and Larry said he and I would still be then. That made me happy, but it pissed off Mom and Marcy.”
I stopped Maryland, “I am still confused about how this matters.” I got up and got another beer.
Anna piped in, “Listen, Eric, none of this might make sense, but it all contributes to what has happened.”
Maryland began again…
“Marcy finally agreed to go out with him again if it meant he would leave me alone. That was the last time I went out with Larry.
You were out of town a week later; Marcy went out with Larry. Unfortunately, that night began what has happened over the past twenty years. So, this is all my fault.” Maryland began to cry.
I stood and began to pace. I was pissed off now. “You both knew we were married, and Marcy cheated on me with this man, with your approval. How could you endorse that?” I barked, stopping and looking down at them. I was so mad I was shaking.
“HOW COULD YOU?” I yelled, slumping into a chair and crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had to get away and think. I walked out the patio door to the backyard. I paced around the pool, doing many laps, maybe twentyfive or more; I didn’t count. What I could not understand was how Anna and Maryland allowed Marcy to continue this charade while my wife was cheating on me and our family for our whole marriage for over twenty years.
An even bigger question was, what was the reasoning? Did he have some lousy evidence on one or all of them? Maybe he had some magical powers, or an evil spell had been cast on them. That made as good a sense as anything because nothing made any logical sense.
As I calmed down, I sat on a lounger and thought about my life with Marcy. It was wonderful. Never in all our years together had I had any thoughts that Marcy could, would, or was cheating on me. She was never anything but a loving wife, mother, and the perfect companion.
The Marcy I knew as my wife and mother of our children was not the same woman that had conducted a twentyplusyear affair. That was a completely different woman.
I wondered if an emotional or mental condition contributed to her ability to be both women, with each woman living separately in the moments she played her two roles. That was the only real explanation that made sense to me, and it may be the only one I can live with.
Now, I had cooled down to my usual pragmatic self and had questions to ask, so I returned inside.
Mother and daughter sat beside each other on the sofa, not knowing what to expect when I entered the room. I put them at ease by saying, “I am okay now, but I have questions.”
“I cannot understand how Marcy could be two separate women. One my loving wife and mother and one a cheating slut that had carried on this charade for our whole lives together. I do not see how that was possible without her having your help?” I stared at them, knowing they had enabled Marcy all these years.
I looked at both, trying to detect any reaction, but they only looked at one another, and then Anna spoke.
“In the first year, Marcy never saw Larry. She was your wife, and he never even came up in conversation. There was no contact. Then she saw him at a conference, and it all started again. There was something between them that was like magnetism. I knew something was different after that, but I didn’t know what. Larry’s name still never came up, but I sensed something was wrong. Then, one time, a few months later, when you were out of town, Marcy canceled a card game we had once a month. Marcy had never done that before and had never missed a game. I called her later that night, but she didn’t answer her phone or respond to a text I sent. That bothered me. It was unlike Marcy, so I knew something was happening but didn’t know what. I feared that she was seeing someone.
That night, I decided to go to your house early in the morning. So, I was at your house sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee when Marcy came home at 6:00 a.m. I had parked, so she did not see my car. She was shocked when she came in and saw me sitting there with a furious look on my face.
It staggered her, and she shrieked, ‘Mom, what are you doing here?’ She looked disheveled, and I knew she had been out all night. There was no doubt about it.
I was very direct. “No, Marcy, you don’t get to ask questions. I do! Where the hell have you been, Marcy? Who did you fuck all night long? I know it was not your husband. Eric is out of town, so who was it?” I was almost screaming at her.
Marcy was stunned, collapsed onto a chair, and began to sob. I let her cry for a while, then stopped her. ‘Marcy, stop crying and tell me everything,’ I demanded.
Marcy confessed all about Larry and how they had reconnected at the conference, and the flame was ignited again. She could not explain why she was continuing to see him sporadically. Marcy knew it was wrong, but they could not stop for some reason. At that point, they had only met twice since the conference. Each time, you were away, and they were over three months apart.
I begged Marcy to stop, and she assured me she wanted to and would do her best to stop. I never asked her about it again. I thought she had stopped. From everything I could see, you guys were so happy. Then the babies came, so I was sure it was over with Larry. Now, we know that was not the case. I was just as shocked at you when Marcy told me what had happened and what she had been doing for over twenty years.
Eric, there has never been anyone else. Marcy has only been with Larry and you. That is not very comforting, but you need to know that.”
Anna finished, and I looked at Maryland. Anna looked at her, too.
“Maryland, do you have anything to add?” I asked.
“Yes, unfortunately, I do, or maybe it is good what I will say,” Maryland said as she stood and walked across the room to the bookshelf. She took down a book and took something out of it.
About two years ago in May, Eric, you were on an extended business trip to the UK for two weeks. Midway through the first week, Marcy called me and asked me to come for dinner. It had been a while since we did that, so she had sent the kids off to sleep over with friends so we could have time together. I thought it was special. Then, after dinner, that all changed when Marcy unloaded on me, her cheating with Larry for the past eighteenplus years. No word in the dictionary can summarize my feelings at that exact moment.
Eric, my emotions went utterly wild. Anger, jealousy, fear, more anger, hatred, disgust, and a great deal of sadness for you and the kids. I showed no reaction. I remember holding a cup of coffee as tightly as I could. My hands squeezed the cup so hard, imagining they were around Marcy’s neck. It took everything in me to stop me from jumping up and strangling her at that moment. That day, my love for my sister slipped away and still has not fully returned.”
Maryland sat silent as tears began running down her cheeks. Anna leaned over and held her. Jesus, what a mess Marcy and Larry had created.
I waited, then asked, “Maryland, you didn’t tell your Mom?”
“No, Marcy told me she was done with Larry after their last time together and would never see him again. I wasn’t sure that would be true, but I took her word. Your marriage was strong, and you had survived all those years without Marcy being caught. It was totally wrong, but there was no way I could ever tell anyone what had happened, knowing that what was happening at this minute would happen. I just put it in a compartment in my brain and vowed never to bring it out again. But today came, and I have told you everything I know,” she said.
I saw the envelope in Maryland’s hand, “What is that envelope?”
Maryland looked at me and Anna. She looked down at the envelope. She opened it and took out the pages. “Like I said before, this is all my fault, and this is proof. This letter was written by Marcy the day she told me about Larry. I was supposed to mail it, but I never did. At first, it got mixed in with some papers, and I thought I lost it. A few months passed, and I found it but never mailed it. If I had, the affair would have ended then.” Maryland handed me the letter. It was several pages handwritten. I read it twice.
I won’t bore you with the details, but it was the last letter Marcy planned to write. The keywords were: “Larry, our time over these many years has been special, but it has strained my marriage daily. I feel guilty and know that what we have done is wrong, and I am a terrible woman for cheating on my husband. This is my final letter ending our time together. I love only Eric and have never loved you. I love you, but that is not true love. So please do not contact me again; I will do the same. It has been fun, Your friend Marcy.”
Anna sat back and looked at Maryland. “How could you? You should have mailed the letter, and this would have all ended. What were you thinking or not thinking at all? Why didn’t you mail it? Does Marcy know you didn’t mail it?” Anna was livid, barking out her questions at Maryland!
Maryland cowered away, not having an answer to any of Anna’s questions. She finally ran from the room, screaming, “I am so sorry!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anna asked me, “Eric, what will you do?” As if there was an easy answer. Honestly, I had no idea.
The letter shed a slightly different light on the matter, but it had taken Marcy almost eighteen years to come to her senses and try to end the affair. What happened with the letter was out of her control, but she saw Larry again after the letter was supposed to be sent. They still met again and were for a while. She had even written more letters in the past several months. What did they say? God, what a mess.
I heard a cell phone ringing. I looked at Maryland. She looked at the phone and turned it face down, ignoring the call. Maryland looked at me. “Marcy!”
Then Anna’s phone rang several times. She did not answer. She looked at the phone, then at Maryland and me. “Marcy!”
I stood and walked to the sliding door, looking outside for several minutes. I turned and said, “I don’t know, but I need to be away from Marcy and talk to a professional about how to deal with this. Right now, I am completely lost as to how to move forward. I know that every man I know would tell me to divorce her. Most women, too, for her being such a stupid slut. But I love Marcy. She has been everything to me every day of our life together. I have thought back over the years and can never remember one time when she ever denied me anything or displayed anything but pure love for me and our kids. I am at a complete loss as to how she was able to do this for all these years and never once gave me the slightest hint of what she was doing. The two of you knew way more than me. If anything, I should be angry with both of you for not telling me. I understand why you didn’t, but you should have told me so I could have stopped it years ago.”
“I am sorry. If I had known they were still seeing each other after we first talked about it, I would have stopped them myself,” Anna stated. “I am so sorry.”
“Well, there is only one person I can blame: Marcy. If she had not cheated, none of this would have ever happened, and no one would have been harmed. Now a lot of people are harmed, all the innocent people.” I said in a disgusted tone.
A sat silently for a few minutes, then spoke.
“Anna, thank you and Maryland for telling me everything you know. It has been helpful. It does not make what I must do more accessible, but I understand better now. As I said, I must talk to a professional to help me sort through all this. Then, I will discuss it with Marcy and see what happens.
I have to go now. Tell Marcy I don’t hate her, and hopefully, this will all work out.”
I hugged Anna, and she kissed me on the cheek. “You are a sweet boy, and I am sorry this has happened.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I left Anna’s house for a quiet place to think. I went to the library, which is always peaceful. There, I could sit and think and also use the internet. I logged on to Google and searched for counselors and lawyers. I found several of each and wrote them down. I had to decide what I was going to do. I could go home and give Mary the silent treatment without any peace or go to a hotel. I chose the hotel, leaving Marcy to sweat it out and wonder where I was and what I would do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to a Holiday Inn Express and booked a threeday room. I set up in my room and began to try to figure out what I was going to do. I contacted the counselors first to see how fast I could get an appointment. I could see Dr. Athena Grace in the late afternoon the next day, so I made the appointment. I looked at the three lawyers’ websites and found one I like, Edwin Ramos Esq. He had a small practice focused on divorce, and his reviews showed that he focused on the injured party and was quite successful. I called and made an appointment for the following day.
I removed a pad and began a list of questions for Dr. Grace and Edwin. Then, I wrote a list of the pros and cons of my marriage to Marcy. It turned out to be completely onesided, with all positives and only two negatives. They were, one… she cheated on me for over twenty years, and two… I didn’t understand how she could love me all that time, so she must not have.
As I sat drinking a soda, my phone buzzed. I looked at it and saw a text from Sharon. I opened it. It was a voice message.
Sharon’s voice text: “Eric, I hope you are doing OK. Marcy is not doing well. She is distraught, and I am afraid for her wellbeing. I have been with her the whole time, and she is nearly despondent. What are you going to do? Marcy needs to talk with you as soon as you can bear to be around her. I know this situation is horrible, but she is desperate to talk with you. Please, Please talk with her, if only to say you do not hate her or something that will tide her over until you figure out what you will do.”
The message disturbed me, but I was no longer raging mad. I didn’t understand Marcy and how she did what she did. I do not hate her; to the contrary, I love her as much as I did before this all came to light. I was still bewildered and unsure what to do
I thought for a few minutes and decided to call Sharon.
The phone rang several times, then, “Oh, thank God, Eric, you called. Marcy is evil. I am very worried about her. She is in a terrible place, and I am worried. I called her mother, and she is coming over soon. Will you please talk to her for even a minute? Give her some hope even if there isn’t any. Marcy needs that right now.”
“Hi Sharon, I am worried about Marcy, too. I do not know what I will do yet, but I understand she needs to hear my voice. But I cannot offer her much reassurance. Put her on the phone but stay with her. This will be short and may not help much,” I said.
I was nervous about the next few minutes. I heard rustling… then… “Hello, Eric, is it you?” came across in a soft, anxious voice.
I said nothing, and I paused.
“Eric,” Marcy said even softer.
“Yes, it’s me,” I said.
“Oh God, Eric, I am so sorry, I am. I love you so much. Please come home and let me try to explain. It may mean nothing, but I must explain it as best as possible. Please come home. I love you!” Marcy’s words spilled out over the phone in desperation, almost manic!
I listened and paused again.
“Marcy, I need a little more time, probably another day or two. I still love you, but I need to be alone right now. I hope you understand. I will be home in three days, and then we can talk. Can you hold it together until then? Anna will be there soon, and she will help you. I have to go. I love you.”
I hung up before Marcy could answer. My heart was pounding. Hearing Marcy’s voice was very confusing. I felt sorrow and concern but no hate or even anger. The love of my life was in severe pain. It was all her own doing, so I felt no responsibility for any of this. I realized we were both victims of the debacle, and if we were to survive, Marcy had to find a way to forgive herself, and I had to forgive her, too.
Then there was Larry’s death. What did that mean in all of this? What was Marcy feeling about that? What was he to her? A lover or a love are two different things. I needed to read at least some letters to understand their relationship. I had to go to Houston and meet Samantha Stewart.
I called Sharon. “Hi, do you have the letter? I need Larry’s wife’s phone number.”
“Oh God, you are going to call her?” Sharon gasped.
“Yes, I need to talk with her. Give me her number, but do not tell Marcy,” I said.
I wrote down the number and looked at her name and the number. It was flaring at me off the page. What would I say to her? We were both victims. Samantha had reached out to me, So I owed her a response.
I punched the number into my phone. I looked at it, took a deep breath, and pressed the screen. The phone rang. Five or six rings, then, “Hello?”
“Oh, hi, is this Samantha?” I asked.
“Yes, who are you?” she asked.
“This is Eric Wiliams,” I said.
There was a moment of silence, then… “Oh, hello, sorry, I am a little surprised.”
“I understand, and I am sorry we must meet under these circumstances. I need to thank you for the letter. I was quite shocked as you were. I had no idea, as you stated, but you didn’t either.” I stopped and took a breath.
There was a long pause, and I heard Samantha crying softly.
“Samantha, I am sorry to have upset you again after all you have been through. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and the shock this all has been on top of that.” I stopped again. I had said enough.
“Eric, I am sorry. I was not expecting to hear from you, or maybe I was, but your call shocked me. I should have expected you to call after I sent the letter, ” she said.
“Yes, I understand, and I don’t want to make this any worse. Thank you for telling me about Marcy and Larry. It has been devastating for me as well. I am struggling with what I will do and need your help. I need to see the other letters but not the pictures. Are you willing to send them to me overnight today? If you want them back, I will return them as soon as I have made copies.” I stated.
There was silence.
“Yes, I will do that for you. I know this is harder on you because you have to make a decision I did not have to make. So, if the letters will help, yes, I can send them today.” Samantha said.
“Samantha, thank you. I am unsure what to do, but I must read the letters. That may help me decide. This is a wild situation that, in a thousand years, I never expected ever to have to deal with. I can say that over our entire marriage, Marcy has never given me any reason to think she was being unfaithful to me, not one. She has been a model wife and mother. That is the shocking part of this whole thing. How could she do this for twentyplus years and never falter.” I said.
“I know, it was the same here. Nothing could have ever convinced me that Larry was having an affair. He was also a model husband and father. It is all so weird, almost surreal,” she said.
“Yes, it is all bizarre,” I said.
“I have a FedEx number I can text you that you can use,” I told her.
“Oh, that would be good, thanks. I will send them today.” Samantha said.
We said goodbye, and I hung up.
My text: “Thanks for doing this. Here is my FedEx number. I will talk with you in a few days.”
I sat back, wondering what the letters would disclose tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At home…
I was starting to panic! Eric had left and was gone overnight, and I had no idea where he was. He would not answer my calls or texts. That concerned me greatly.
I had no idea how to explain or even talk about my affair with Larry. There was no logical explanation; even if there were, no man would ever accept an answer saying that I did not love the man. Yet, I fucked him four or five times a year for several days each time, for over twenty years. That did not make sense, and no other explanation made sense either.
As I thought about the past twenty years, I did not understand how I allowed this to continue. I tried to break it off with a letter mailed to Larry two years ago. But Larry never acknowledged the letter, so I just let things continue. My resolve to end our affair was not very strong.
I also thought about how the whole thing got started. How I stuck up for my little sister, being afraid of Larry and how he might ruin Maryland’s life. Well, look at me now. Larry and I have destroyed my life, and oh my God, he is dead. His poor wife and children, losing her husband and their dad, and her finding the letters about our affair. I feel terrible about that, but now I have a huge problem and no idea how to solve it.
Larry was a demanding man. Yes, I guess he was a bully with all of us, including Mom. Mom and Maryland knew what was happening and why it had started and allowed me to continue even after I begged Maryland for help. Then I gave her the letter asking her to mail it to Larry, ending the affair and any other threats.
Oh yes, ‘the letter’? What happened to it? Larry never responded to it, which was highly unusual. I can’t remember one letter that Larry didn’t respond to, except that one and the few I wrote over the past several months that he could not respond to; he was dead then.
So, what happened to the letter I gave to Maryland to mail?
I picked up my phone and called Maryland. The phone rang and rang, but Maryland didn’t answer.
I called Mom’s cell. It rang several times, but she did not answer either.
That was odd. Were they avoiding me?
I had to talk with someone. They were the only ones that might understand, so it had to be them.
I went to clean up and dress. I left for Mom’s house, leaving a note: “Eric, I am at my Mom’s house. Please come or call me. Please,” I pleaded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat in McCloud’s Irish Pub. My pint was almost empty. I ordered a second one and started watching a soccer game on TV. United was winning, but I didn’t care. It was just a distraction, helping me kill off a few hours.
The barman came over with my dinner, bangers with mash and peas. It’s not my favorite, but it would fill me up and keep me from getting drunk. I couldn’t do that, or I might do something stupid, and I couldn’t do that either. Things were fucked up bad enough.
I finished my dinner and had another pint. As I sat there, I made my decision. Regardless of what the letters said, I was not divorcing Marcy. She will have a lot of work to do to earn my trust back, and there will be some punishment.
I took a bar napkin and started to write. After thirty minutes and a fourth pint, it was time to leave. I gathered the pile of napkins, stuffed them in my pocket, and paid my bill.
I went to the hotel and collapsed on the bed. I lay there and cried, thinking about what a sham my marriage seemed to be. I could not understand how my wife could have been such a cheating slut. another man four or five times a year for twenty years. How could that happen? I never suspected anything was going on. That was a question I had to try to answer somehow.
I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and needed to sleep. I took a shower and turned off my phone to go to sleep. When I looked at it, I saw I had two text messages, one from Marcy and one from Anna. I didn’t read either and turned it off on my phone. I lay down, and surprisingly, the room quickly went black. Either I died at that moment or went to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was nearly 8:30 p.m. when I pulled into my mother’s driveway. The lights were on, and I saw the TV in the living room. I had a key, so I went to the back door and let myself in.
“Hello, who’s there,” came the call from the Maryland.
I walked through the kitchen and down the hall to the living room. I turned the corner, and they both gasped, “Damn, you, Marcy, you scared the life out of me,” my Mom said.
I stood there looking at the two of them, almost huddling together. I guess I scared them.
“Well, if either of you had answered my phone or text messages, you would have known I was coming here. But you ignored me and didn’t listen or tell me either. Thank you so much for your support!” I said with a great deal of sarcasm in my voice.
They looked at each other, then at me. They had sheepish looks on their faces.
I went back down the hall to the kitchen and got a beer. I walked back and sat down across from the two of them. I didn’t mince my words. “Maryland, do you remember the night when I cried out, and I told you about Larry and my marriagelong affair and pleading for your help, desperate to stop the affair? You asked how you could help, and I gave you a letter to mail to Larry telling him it was over and not to contact me anymore. Surely you remember that night and the letter you mailed for me?” I stated with sarcasm.
I looked at the two of them as they looked at each other. I knew it and saw it on their faces; they both knew it. Neither of them was looking at me. I went for it, screaming at them, “God Damnit Maryland, you did mail the letter, didn’t you?”
I sat back and watched Maryland squirm. I knew now for sure she had never mailed my affairending letter. I was growing angry now. None of this would be happening now if she had just sent the damn letter.
I stood up and walked two feet, stopping in front of her. I looked down at her; I was so mad I was shaking. Maryland did not look at me. I looked at my Mom, and she, too, was looking away. I took a deep breath as my anger grew, and then I let go, screaming at them both. “God Damn you, Maryland, I helped save you from Larry, and look where that has gotten me. You couldn’t even help me and send the letter for me, and now I am having to fight for my marriage! God Damn you! And you… Mom. You knew Maryland never mailed my letter and never told me. Well, God Damn you too, Mom!”
I turned away from both of them; I started to cry and slumped into a chair, dropping my head into my hands. “I knew that my married life was over, and I had lost my husband and family. What should I do now?” My body was shaking, and I sobbed uncontrollably.
I heard my Mom moving and felt her arms wrap around me. “Shhhhhh now, baby, it will be OK, ” she whispered.
I pushed Mom away. “No, Mom, it’s not going to be OK. I fucked up so badly, and you guys didn’t stop me when I couldn’t stop myself. Eric will never keep me now. He will divorce me, and then what? I will have no life left!” I looked at Mom and then at Maryland, who was crying, sitting on the sofa. “Fuck, I can’t stay here. Neither of you is any help at all!” I said as I stood and ran toward the front door.
I drove aimlessly away, not knowing where to go or what to do. My life is over. “God,” I scream, “Help me, please!” I quickly pulled into the parking lot, stopped, laid my head against my arms on the steering wheel, and sobbed.
Finally, I drove home, not knowing if Eric would ever return. Maybe he would like to have the pleasure of seeing my life destroyed when I was served the divorce papers.
I pulled into the garage and saw Eric was not home. My greatest fears were coming true. I sat in my car, almost afraid to go inside. Where else could I go?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke at almost 6:30 a.m. As I lay there, I knew I needed to get moving so I could be home to meet the FedEx driver before he handed the package to Marcy. Believe it or not, I wanted to see Marcy this morning. I know that may sound strange, considering what Marcy has done. But after my brain had run over this situation ten thousand or more times, I was no longer angry about what Marcy had done. I am sure that sounds irrational, but it is really not.
Follow me now. In all the years Marcy and I have been together, and she was having an affair with Larry, there has never been one minute when I ever doubted the sincerity of her love for me and the family. She had never denied me anything, never missed a birthday, Christmas, or any significant event in our children’s lives. She never feigned illness, pain, or anything and never denied me , not once. You can say that it does not excuse her for what she did, and it doesn’t, but it does show that her love for me and the family cannot be questioned. Logic says that if there was a loving relationship with Larry, there is no way that it could have continued for twenty years without breaking our family apart. So, I believe there was no love between them, and it was purely .
Though I do not know this exactly, it seems that Marcy’s reunions with Larry were always orchestrated to happen when we were apart for some natural reason, whether it was business travel or a weekend away when I was golfing or fishing. In any case, she was never absent, making me wonder where she was.
The result of this whole mess had come down to my loss of trust in my wife and my male ego being destroyed. I am having to deal with Marcy wanting to have with another man badly enough to conceal it from me for over twenty years. The question is, would I ever be able to look into her eyes when we were and not wonder if she was thinking of Larry and not me? I am not sure how I could live with that. On the other hand, I have lived with it for twenty years but didn’t know about it. So now that I do know about it, it is in my head, not Marcy’s. I was the one creating the doubt.
I wanted revenge when I first read the letter, but as I thought about this whole mess, I realized it would serve no purpose. It would only allow me to puff out my chest and beat on it like Tarzan, as King of my domain. Demanding an answer, Marcy could not provide, ‘How could you violate my kingdom?’ Ultimately, it would cause more damage than the betrayal had done.
We both needed counseling, separately and as a couple, to understand how to deal with Marcy’s betrayal and move forward together. Marcy has to know how devastating this has been for me, and I will need to make it clear to her that if anything ever happens like this again, I will leave her in the dust! Many of you will say I should do that now, but no, I cannot. To me, that would be more devastating than what Marcy has done.
I rolled out of bed, picked up my phone, and looked at the tracking data on Samantha’s package. It was out for delivery, and it was guaranteed to arrive before 10:00 a.m. I needed to get moved. I knew Marcy would be too shaken up to go to work today.
I showered, made coffee, and dressed. I decided not to tell Marcy I was coming home. I would show up without warning. I packed up and was out of the hotel by 7:30 a.m.
I felt pretty good that I had a clear direction now. I needed to let Marcy settle her issues with what she had done. I was going to read every letter she had written to Larry, and unless my mind and feelings changed, it would just be sour entertainment for me and pure torture for Marcy. She would know I would read all the intimate thoughts Marcy had told Larry and most of what he had written to her. I am sure this would be as devastating to her as it was for me to read the first letter. Then, there were the pictures that would also come in the package. I am not sure if I can look at them. I may use them as a bit of torture for Marcy, not letting her see them, or maybe I will make her look at them with me. That would be sinister, wouldn’t it? Marcy certainly does not want me to see them in bed, sucking and or doing whatever they did together.
I turned down our street and into the driveway, opening the garage. Marcy was home, as I expected. As I stepped out and shut the truck door, the kitchen door opened, and Marcy appeared. My God, she looked horrible. Her face was a mess, and her hair needed brushing. It had been a very rough night for her, I imagine.
Marcy said nothing as I walked to her. She was crying silent tears that rolled down her cheeks. At the top of the stairs, I put down my bag and took her in my arms. I looked into her eyes and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Stop crying, baby, things are going to be OK!”
I picked up my bag, and we walked through the mud room into the kitchen. “I am hungry, are you?”
“Yes, I will make you anything you want,” Marcy said with excitement and a smile.
“Waffles and beacon would be good, make that for us,” Eric said. He kissed me again and left the room with his bag.
Part 3 Ready and in for approval.
Copyright © 2024 MaxxNRachelWrenn
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