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#Teen #Virgin
By LostShepherd
Hayleigh, a young member of the Church, learns about chastity the hard way. #Mormon #LDS #Latter-daySaint #bishop #confession #religious
Hayleigh was so nervous as she waited outside the bishops office. She felt a strange mix of guilt and fear. Guilt for what she’d done that she knew was wrong, and fear of what might happen to her and what the bishop would think of her when he found out. Bishop Anderson was a nice enough man, but he had a stern side, and frankly she was more scared of his disappointment than anything.
Hayleigh had been the most perfect, well-behaved member of The Church since she was just a toddler, always reverently sitting in the pew during sacrament meeting and raising her hand to answer every question in Sunday School. In seminary, which she had just started two months ago, she was the first girl in her age group to read all the way through the Book of Mormon. All the adults always seemed so proud of Hayleigh and happy with her. She was the Beehive president until she became a Mia Maid and was made the second counselor in the Mia Maid presidency within two weeks. Needless to say, Hayleigh was a good girl, a perfect girl even, up until a few days ago.
How could she have been so stupid? She knew it was wrong, right? I mean she didn’t really know for sure, but she definitely felt a feeling like she was doing something she shouldn’t be doing. She should have realized when she was closing her bedroom door that she was hiding something from her parents. If she felt the need to hide, that was probably a good sign that what she was doing was wrong, right? Maybe she had just tricked herself into thinking it wasn’t. She knew for sure it was wrong though when her dad barged into the room with a face full of shock and then fury.
As the door to the bishops office clicked and pushed open, the pit in Hayleigh’s stomach dropped even lower.
“Thank you, Bishop. I’ll see you next Sunday!”
“No problem, sister Jones. Take care.”
Sister Jones was a widow in the ward and was Hayleigh’s Sunday School teacher in CTR 8. She gave Hayleigh a smile as she stepped outside the door. Hayleigh smiled back but it felt fake. It felt like she was lying. She felt like she was pretending to still be a perfect girl and she wasn’t. She was scared that Sister Jones could see right through her. That she and everyone who passed by the bishop’s office after church that day knew. Knew that she had sinned and that’s exactly why she was waiting to talk to the bishop.
It was her dad that told her she needed to do it. When he opened the door she remembered quickly closing her legs together and trying to cover her bare crotch with her hand. The shock on his face only lasted a moment before his jaw clenched. He told her to put her pants on and meet him in the living room to talk. She felt so scared in that moment. So embarrassed, so ashamed, so naked. She thought that must have been what Adam and Eve felt when they realized they were naked in the garden. When she came out of her room, all her dad said to her was “Sit down,” and then, “You need to schedule an appointment to talk to the bishop on Sunday.” He didn’t say anything else and had barely said another word to her ever since that night.
As Sister Jones made her way down the hall, Bishop Anderson smiled down at Hayleigh sitting on the padded folding chair outside his office.
“Good afternoon Hayleigh. Come on in.”
She stood up and shook his outstretched hand as he patted her on the shoulder and guided her into his office, locking the door behind her.
Hayleigh sat down in the chair facing the desk and bishop Anderson sat down in the chair behind it.
“So. What brings you in here today?”
Hayleigh hesitated. She had no idea what to say.
He sat there unflinching in the deafening silence until Hayleigh finally managed to get some words out of her mouth.
“I uh… I did something bad…”
Bishop Anderson’s brow furrowed a bit.
“Well, Hayleigh. You’ve come to the right place. When we do something wrong, the atonement gives us a chance to repent and be made clean again. Do you know the seven R’s of repentance?”
“Um. I think so…”
Hayleigh had heard them mentioned before, but not enough to have them memorized.
“The first one is Recognize. Recognize that you’ve done something wrong. And that’s what you did just now. Do you know what the second one is?”
“Um.. Relate?”
“Close. That’s actually the third one. The second R is Remorse. We have to feel bad for what we did.”
Hayleigh stared at the toes of her white Sunday shoes poking out underneath her puffy yellow dress.
“And then, after that. We get to Relate like you said. Relate or confess your sin to your bishop. And that’s what you came here to do isn’t it? To confess your sin so you can be forgiven and move on.”
Hayleigh looked up and nodded.
“The next ones are restitution, resolution, reformation, and realization, but we’ll get to those later, okay? First you’re going to have to tell me what you did.”
There was another long painful silence as Bishop Anderson waited for Hayleigh to speak. Why was it so hard for her to say it?
“I uh… I broke the law of chastity.”
Hayleigh was afraid to look up. Afraid to see the look on his face, but another painful silence finally forced her to. It was concern. That was the look. And maybe… something else?
“I’ll need to know more than that, Hayleigh. The law of chastity is a serious law that God gave us to protect the marital covenant. There are different levels to breaking it so I need to know how far you went, okay? If you want to fully repent, you have to give a full account of what you did. That means not leaving anything out.”
Hayleigh gave out a timid “Okay.”
“So. What did you do?”
“I… touched… myself.”
“Where?”
“On my… on my…”
Hayleigh’s mind brought her back to that evening alone in her room with the door closed. She was curious about something. Something her cousin, Sophia had told her.
“…and when we were kissing, he put his hand inside my shirt and felt my boob…”
Sophia was only ten months older than Hayleigh, and far more rebellious. Hayleigh hadn’t even dated a boy. She wasn’t allowed to yet. But Sophia had already dated, kissed, and touched in places that were definitely not okay with the church. Hayleigh never looked up to her, in fact, she was a little judgmental of her choices, but she couldn’t help but listen with rapt attention every time she told a story of one of her crazy escapades.
Hayleigh was wide-eyed as she desperately wished for her cousin to go on. The story made her feel something she wanted to keep feeling, and there was a warm wetness starting to develop between her legs, like she suddenly had a runny nose down there.
“Then. He put his hand down my pants- and-“ Sophia squealed quietly
“What did he do?”
“He started sliding his finger up and down my slit… then he slid it inside me. In my- vagina.” She whispered the last word.
Hayleigh continued to be riveted as she leaned in a little closer. They were both in Sophia’s room at the time. Sophia’s mom was Hayleigh’s mom’s sister, and they lived about an hour and a half away, so they didn’t get to hang out a lot but when they did they would talk to eachother about everything.
This was the conversation that got Hayleigh curious, and the one that was on her mind as she got ready for bed that night. Her parents were already in bed she thought, but she closed the door just to try to have a little extra security. She laid down and put her hand up her shirt like her cousin talked about. She ran her fingers over her nipples and squeezed her growing breasts, imagining what it might be like if someone else was doing that to her.
Then she slid her hand down her pajama pants.
“On your vagina?”
The word felt weird to hear an adult say. It felt weird to hear anyone say in such a calm tone. Hayleigh nodded.
“Is that all you did, was touch it?” Bishop Andersons voice was firm.
“No…”
More silence.
“I… I rubbed it. And put my finger inside it.”
Bishop Anderson’s head dropped as he exhaled through his nose.
“Hayleigh, this is a serious sin, I need you to understand that.”
Hayleigh just stared, not knowing what to say. She was on the verge of tears.
3/14/23
“Your sexual powers were meant to be saved for your future husband and you’ve damaged that gift by trying to feel those sexual things outside the bounds of marriage. And now, I hate to tell you, but you’ve opened a gate that’s hard to close. And you’ve done something that can never be taken back. This will not be an easy thing to repent of.”
The tears suddenly flooded out of Hayleigh’s eyes and she sobbed.
“I’m so sorry, Bishop. I’m so sorry!”
“Hey, hey Hayleigh… It’s gonna be alright. I’m gonna help you get through this, okay?”
Hayleigh looked down again at her spotless white shoes.
“Okay,” she sniffed.
“Now. I’m gonna need even more detail, alright? Let’s put everything out in the light.”
Hayleigh didn’t know what to add. She thought that’s all she would have to say.
“How did it start?”
“Well… I was curious I guess…”
Bishop Anderson nodded knowing nod.
“Satan can often use curiosity to tempt us into breaking god’s laws. Go on.”
Hayleigh looked up at Bishop Anderson and felt something strange in his eyes. She couldn’t tell what it was but it frightened her a little bit.
“I started by… touching… my… breasts.”
Every word felt so difficult to say. Maybe she was scared that any second the bishop was going to snap just like her dad and tell her to get out and never want to speak to her again.
The bishop just nodded.
“And then I put my hand in my pants and started to feel around my… vagina.”
“Was it wet?”
Hayleigh was shocked for a moment. How did he know that? I guess it must be from his wife. It was strange to think that bishop Anderson had done all that stuff Sofia had told her about …and more. Her mind flashed with the image of Bishop Anderson doing those same things with his wife that Sofia had done with her boyfriend.
“Yes.” She timidly replied
Bishop Anderson took a breath in through his nose.
“Hayleigh. When you get wet down there it’s a sign that your thoughts have already turned sexual. It means you’ve already sinned in your heart.”
Hayleigh froze. She hadn’t been thinking about it before, but at some point during this conversation, Hayleigh had started to get that warm wet feeling between her legs again like a runny nose. Was she sinning right now in front of the bishop? How could this be? Was she this bad of a person? What was she supposed to do? She couldn’t just tell him right there could she?
“Then you put your finger inside there? Just one?”
“Yeah just one…”
Bishop Anderson seemed almost… disappointed? Weird.
“And then what? I’m guessing you didn’t put it in there and leave it, did you?”
“No I… I slid it in and out.”
“It felt good, didn’t it?”
Hayleigh was a little shocked again. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say to that. Of course it felt good, but it wasn’t supposed to, right? It was wrong. It was bad.
This time Bishop Anderson didn’t leave her in the silence, waiting for a reply. He spoke up.
“It’s natural for these things to feel good, Hayleigh. That’s the way God made us. We just have to be careful we don’t misuse these powers. God is not pleased with us when we use his gifts in ways that they weren’t intended. Let’s keep going.”
“Well I was… I was feeling my breast and… sliding… my finger in and out of my…”
She didn’t want to say it again. She felt gross every time she said it.
The bishop left her in the silence again. Just waiting for her to go on.
“Then I started to get too hot. So I took my pajamas off… and I kept going.
“But then. Well then my dad walked in and saw me.”
Bishop Anderson closed his eyes and nodded. “Ah. And then?”
“He got mad and told me to put my pants on and meet him in the living room. Then when I came out to talk to him, he told me I needed to come talk to you.”
Bishop Anderson continued to nod.
“I think I see now Hayleigh. You came to me because you got caught.”
Hayleigh didn’t respond. Is that really why? She was trying to be good wasn’t she? She wanted to do the right thing and talk to the bishop… but what would she have done if she hadn’t been caught? Would she have just kept it a secret?
“Hayleigh, I think we might need to focus on that second R for a bit. Remorse. Do you know what the difference between Godly sorrow and worldly sorrow is?”
“I think so…”
“Godly sorrow isn’t the type of sorrow we feel when we get caught and have to deal with the consequences of our actions. That’s worldly sorrow. Godly sorrow is what we feel when we truly understand that what we have done displeases Heavenly Father. And that sorrow makes us want to change our behavior.”
“I do want to change bishop. I won’t do it again!”
“Well we’ll have to see Hayleigh. Let’s do this, okay? I’m gonna send you home with some stuff to think about. First, I want you to study Second Corinthians, chapter seven. Let me grab a sticky note and write that down for you.”
He pulled a yellow sticky note off of a stack on the desk and wrote “2 Corinthians 7” on it before handing it to Hayleigh.
I’m also gonna have you refrain from taking the sacrament next week, and I’ll see you after church again next week, okay?
“Okay,” Hayleigh said softly
The bishop stood up and Hayleigh noticed something that she hadn’t noticed before: the outline of Bishop Anderson’s penis, pressed up against his right leg. What was wrong with her? Why would she be looking at that? Why was she noticing that? It did seem strange though. Was it always that big and… visible? Hayleigh looked away and ripped the thought from her mind for a whole three seconds until Bishop Anderson opened his arms to give her a hug. As she stood up and hugged him, there it was, hard against her lower belly. Were penises always hard? It didn’t seem like they were always hard. Why was it hard?
The bishop wrapped a hand over her back and one on her head as she pressed her head against his lower chest. The scent of his deodorant was suddenly very strong.
“It’s going to be alright Hayleigh. You’re on the right track though, okay? You’re a good girl and you’re going to make it through this. I know it’s… hard.”
There was a silence after that word and Hayleigh could have sworn she felt it twitch against her stomach.
Bishop Anderson patted her head then broke the hug.
“See you next week, okay Hayleigh?
“Okay. Thank you bishop.”
“No problem Hayleigh. Take care.”
…
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By LostShepherd
#Teen #Virgin
