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I went to the therapist today like I do every week. Last week when I was there he asked me to reflect on my life and write it down for this session… Until I started writing it down I didn’t realize how messed up my life really was. I will share it with you all. I have been picked on all my life because of my weight. I will be 60 years old in September. And I have let myself be used for most of my life just to get attention and make other people happy. When I sat back and reflected on my life I was very very surprised. I realized that I have had with 273 black men. 164 White men. 5 Women. And I have put myself in positions to gang Bang 9 different times. And that are just the human being aspect of it. If you read my you’ll know where I’m coming from with that statement. And a lot of these people it was multiple times. And I’m sure I probably left some people out that I didn’t remember. I see a therapist because of my depression from being overweight and constantly used by people for . I was kind of afraid to give him what I wrote down. I was worried about him judging me. I’m sure you all reading this are judging me as you read it. So when I went to the therapist today I gave him what I wrote down. He sat there very silently as he read it. When he was done reading he asked me if it was accurate? I told him that it was but those were the only ones I Remember. He told me to give him a second as he read it a second time. He must have been turned on by it I noticed he was getting a hard on through his pants. After he read it a second time he asked me When I wrote it what was I thinking about? I told him I didn’t realize how many there was until I sat back and thought about each and every time. I also told him I am sure there were some I forgot about. Then he asked me what I thought about As I look back at my Life? I didn’t know how to answer that question at 1st. Then I told him a lot of those times were unwanted I just gave in. And a lot of the other times it was just to get attention. Then he asked me if I had regrets now that I look back on my Life? I told him I only had one regret in my life. Was the time I allowed myself to be gang banged by a bunch of people at a party. We talked about that for a while. I posted that yesterday. Then he asked me if there was anything I wanted to change in my life what would it be? I told him if I could go back in time and not be overweight most of my life that is something I would want to change. I told him I probably wouldn’t have had with 99% of those people. That I would have found a man that would have loved me married me and I would have been happy the rest of my life. Then he asked me if I was still ually active? I told him I was and I still enjoyed it. He said being a therapist he really couldn’t express his opinion on my life. But he said if there was anything he can do to help my mental state get through this he would. Then he told me I should love myself. That being overweight was not a crutch. Or a reason to give to people for attention. When I looked Down, I noticed he had a giant hard on in his Pants. So I asked him if he had a hard on in his pants? He told me he did. I asked him why? He told me it was just human nature reading what he just read. Then I asked him if he wanted to take it out and show it to me? His face got red and he didn’t say anything at first. A couple minutes later he pulled it out and didn’t say a word. It was pretty big. Then I asked him if I could give him a blowjob? He told me I could if I wanted to but I didn’t have to. I decided to give him one. Since it was already out and I was already on my knees. After he came in my mouth the 1st time and I swallowed I just kept sucking on it. And he came in my mouth a second time And I swallow that as well. I got up and set back on his couch. Then he asked me why I did that for him? I told him I was just programmed that way. Then I asked him if he enjoyed? He told me he did. Then he said but you knew I was married. I said to him all he had to do was tell me to stop or just tell me no. I know his wife and she is a large woman as well just like me. We talk more about me reflecting back. Then my session with him was over for the day. Before I left he told me thank you and I won’t be charging you for today’s session. I guess he enjoyed what I did for him. This is just another day in my life. Another true I post. I am always open for feedback. Or answer any questions you may have. Thanks again for reading my . You can always reach me here.
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Darlene J Malewit
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Darlene60