Best try on Chrome browser.
This familyfriendly contains descriptions of close family members and the dearly departed engaged in entirely inappropriate activities that some may find either disturbing or hot. If you find family members fantasizing about or taking liberties with each other or otherwise behaving in naughty ways, then you probably should stop reading right about… now.
All characters in this novel are fictional and are eighteen years or older. Any resemblance to any real person, living, dead, undead or under the age of eighteen, is in your own dirty little mind. Sadly, most of the events portrayed in this are not based on true events. I wish.
If you are still reading and are not offended by MILF or SILF or BILF and believe siblings and the dead behaving in very naughty ways is hot, I hope you enjoy this naughty, ghostly Halloween .
Jimmy hated finding Rick’s Prius parked in front of their house.
It meant that clown was trying to get into his sister’s pants again. Rick wasn’t the first and certainly would not be the last guy to try to take advantage of his sweet, simple, innocent sister. As beautiful as she was godly, gullible and pure, Jimmy had taken on the role of protector of her virginity since they were in high school. Guys like Rick were out to make sure Lizzie did not enter marriage as pure as Jimmy intended to enter his.
Liz had not really begun to blossom until halfway through high school, but when she did, boy did she bloom! Her long, raven hair shined like silk, crystal blue eyes with the face of an angel, but God had saved His finest work for sculpting her body. His masterpiece.
One of those figures like the models on TV, the kind that comes naturally, without spending time in the gym or watching her diet. Skinny, yet with a round bottom and breasts that seemed almost too large for her diminutive frame. Jimmy tried not to think about her figure to avoid the sin of lust, but it was one of those things impossible to avoid. If she was Muslim, she’d probably be distracting under a burkha.
Now a freshman in the same local college where Jimmy was in his senior year, this really was the last chance he had to defend her purity. Next year, he’d be working—possibly in another city—so he took this last year protecting her virginity with deadly seriousness. Rick was slick, and intent on taking from Liz the gift she could only give once. A gift reserved for Liz’s husband—whoever God chose for her.
They were not downstairs, which was a worrying sign. Their parents’ cars were not there yet, so the two lovebirds were alone in the house, and the only rooms upstairs were bedrooms. Jimmy rushed upstairs to save Liz from what Rick had planned for her.
Jimmy might also be saving himself for marriage, but he knew what guys do and how they think. He was no fool. He’d heard all the stories about the tricks guys pull to get girls to sleep with them. The lies, the alcohol, the drugs they used for their nefarious purposes. Sometimes their church hosted female speakers who told their sordid stories of how they had been led astray and to ruin, stories which infuriated Jimmy, yet which were also oddly fascinating, sometimes stimulating.
Liz’s bedroom door was closed, and that can’t possibly be good!
Their family had a strict rule, if anyone of the opposite were to ever be in their bedroom, the door must be open at all times. Whatever was going on behind this closed door, he was not going to warn them by knocking to stop before he put an end to it!
Bursting through the door, he immediately caught sight of Liz and Rick sitting on her bed. Liz’s shirt was unbuttoned and her bra pushed up. They did not hear the door, probably because their tongues were in each other’s mouths—not to mention his hand!
Liz’s left breast was in Rick’s hand, and he was squeezing her like one of those foam stress balls. Her sweet, soft, pale flesh bulged between Rick’s clawlike fingers. Jimmy barely noticed the other, bare breast, his entire focus on the one being squished in the pincers of that despoiler! The sight so shocked him, Jimmy could only stare for twenty or thirty seconds until his voice thundered with God’s righteousness.
“Get your hands off her, you devil!”
The two lovers jerked, heads spinning to see Jimmy standing there. Rick’s hand jerked back fast as if he’d touched a hot stove, and Liz screamed. Then, realizing her brother was staring at her chest, pulled closed her top across her.
“How about a little privacy,” Rick said, which just showed his depravity. No apology, no recognition of the gravity of his sin, only an attempt to make Jimmy the bad guy for protecting his sister’s purity from this predator.
“Get out!” Jimmy was screaming almost as loud as his sister, only his screams were directed at driving the devil from his sister’s territory. When Rich reached out to his sister’s shoulder, Jimmy had seen enough! Jesus attacked the moneychangers for much less than attempting to defile a virgin. Filled with righteous indignation, Jimmy grabbed him and shoved him into the hallway. “I said out!”
Rick did not really fight back, falling into acceptance that his fun was over—certainly for the day and for who knows how long afterward, so he left a sobbing Liz and headed downstairs. Jimmy’s shouting drowned out his sister’s tears, and at the bottom of the stairs the protective brother gave him a shove toward the door.
“Keep your hands off me, you assclown!”
Of all the nerve of this guy! “Keep my hands off you? After your hands were all over my sister?”
“Chill out, man. We’re all adults here. It’s not like she’s a kid or something.”
Jimmy just looked at this insolent despoiler. Then, he realized what he must do in a situation like this. “Be gone, Satan!”
“What the fuck, dude? Satan? Seriously, you need to get a grip.”
A grip? Like he had on Liz’s virginal breast? The fury of God swelled up inside him. Jimmy did not really think about it, he just did what God wanted him to do. His fist lashed out, and with God’s guidance, it was true. Landing square on Rick’s jaw, he spun halfway around and fell over sideways near the kitchen counter. On his way down, his head struck the granite countertop with a sickening crack, then he ragdolled to the floor.
Jimmy was shaking him, which is probably not the best idea for someone with a depressed skull fracture, but Jimmy was no doctor. He was on his way to a degree in theology—not much crossover. Not that you need a medical degree to tell when someone has stopped breathing, or their lifeless eyes began to glaze over.
The only dead people Jimmy had ever seen were their grandparents, but he knew it when he saw it. Rick was not hurt; Rick was dead.
“Oh, God, oh God, what do I do?” A healing prayer! Why had it taken him so long to think of that? So he prayed and prayed, prayed hard as he knew how. But Rick did not rise from the dead. He just lay there, skin turning a pasty gray color. The only miracle that night was the accuracy of his punch.
What to do? What to do?
Whatever it was, he had to act fast before Lizzie came downstairs or their parents returned home. Luckily, Rick was not that big of a guy, so dragging him out to his liberal Prius was not too hard, not with God giving him strength like this.
And then he was driving the Prius. He did not know where, but was pleasantly surprised how well it drove. Without his own destination in mind, the Lord led him down to the swamp, maybe a mile from their house. He dragged Rick’s rapidly cooling body from the car to the edge of a pond and pushed him out into the water. From where he stood, he could spot three alligators, their eyes glowing yellow in the headlights’ beams, and that meant there were probably several more submerged nearby. God’s garbage disposal system.
After a quick wipedown of the car with a rag to get rid of fingerprints, Jimmy started walking home. He stayed off the main road, to avoid people he might know and doorbell cameras.
#
Rick woke up groggy and confused, but otherwise okay. At first, he had no idea where he was. The only sound was odd bells ringing somewhere nearby.
Although recognizing this place, it took him a long time to realize where he was. It was Liz’s kitchen. In all his visits to her house, he had never come for food, so had only seen it from a distance, but never been in here.
Memories slowly started returning. Jimmy going nuts. Liz’s tits. Tits that filled his hand perfectly, with large nipples. Her tongue in his mouth, so shy and inexperienced. And hungry for him. He never would have pegged Jimmy for a peepercreeper, and supposed that is how these religious guys get their rocks off. He still had trouble imagining the guy blowing up like that. Did Jimmy have something with Liz?
It made sense, in a way. If they were both holding out for marriage, like she made clear to him every time he tried to touch her body, and refused to even sully her reputation with a little blow job, maybe they kept it in the family until marriage?
No, that just could not be. Liz was too y, too hot, too innocent to ever allow that dorky brother of hers to stave off her carnal urges until her wedding day. No. Just no! If she was willing to blow her brother, she sure would blow him, too. She loved him. For the first time, she told him that, which is why he went for her tits. Catch ’em when they are vulnerable.
And what tits Liz has! OMG! They were natural, of course, but had literally no hang on them. And they were pretty darn big, considering how tiny she is. And those nipples, big as silver dollars and bubblegum pink. Those were by far the best tits he had ever seen.
Oh, fuck! Jimmy coldcocked me! That memory wiped tits out of his mind. That explains why he is so foggy, the Jesus freak landed a lucky punch! It all felt like a dream, even then, having woken up from the KO.
Where the fuck was his car? The spot in the driveway where he left it was empty. Jimmy’s car was there, but his Prius was gone. That made no sense. He decided to go outside and have a look around, but that’s when things got super weird. Try as he might, he could not turn the doorknob. Could not even feel it. Couldn’t feel anything, and he went around slapping furniture then punching the walls and anything he could get his hands on, but he could not get his hands on anything.
Nothing he touched moved, not even the curtains.
What the actual fuck?
Liz was upstairs in her room with an expression on her face like the Grinch had shown up and personally stolen her Christmas.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She looked straight at him like he wasn’t there.
“Listen, I’m sorry. That was all my fault. I didn’t mean to get so carried away, but you drive me crazy, babe! I—I love you, okay? And that physical love is all a part of it.”
Liz did not say a word.
“Okay, guilty—I’m a guy. I love you, and that comes out in my feelings for your body. And it’s a really superawesome body. I just can’t help myself sometimes. But I will be more careful from now on. More respectful, because I don’t want you feeling embarrassed and all.” And, he really didn’t want to show Jimmy her tits again, because he knew how he’d feel if his sisters had tits this perfect and he saw someone groping them.
Heck, he enjoyed looking at his sisters’ tiny titties when they didn’t realize it, and Liz’s were at least a thousand times hotter than his own sisters’. If one of his sisters had a body hot as Liz’s, then he’d install cameras in the bathroom and her bedroom, and this home entertainment system would mean he’d never need to leave his house!
Liz still said nothing, so Rick said, “What, aren’t you talking with me? Over that? Because your brother saw me feeling up your booby?”
Liz stood up and went to the window, staring out for a minute. Then she turned, unbuttoned her blouse, and Rick wondered why she was acting so strange. Instead of taking off her top, though, she fiddled with her bra strap which was twisted all around over one shoulder, probably from the hurry of getting dressed while her boyfriend and brother were arguing about her tits.
When she finished, she went straight to the door, straight at Rick, but made no effort to hug him or anything she might normally do. That’s when shit got real.
Liz walked right through Rick, passing through his body on the way like he wasn’t there.
Because he wasn’t there.
Rick remembered his head bouncing off the granite counter, and then he didn’t remember anything. Not until he “woke up.” But, he wasn’t waking up, was he?
“Oh, fuck.”
#
The family went around their daily business around him as if they did not have a ghost haunting the place.
Very quickly, Rick figured out he was a crappy ghost. He could not make sounds, could not open cabinets or doors or turn lights off or on. He had no way to communicate with them like the ghosts on those paranormal shows. All he could do was follow them around and listen to their insanely boring conversations. And, as he soon learned, this might well be the most boring family on the planet.
They didn’t even watch Rrated movies, because tits and language.
It only took a few days to realize he could never survive an eternity here. The thing was, he tried to shadow them out the doors, but when he got to the threshold, he simply stayed put. Nothing worked. He figured it must be because he died here, so this is where his spirit was doomed to remain trapped until the sun exploded in a supernova.
Liz was pissed at him, so he followed her around explaining he wasn’t ghosting her by not calling—he was an actual ghost who was ghosting her in a completely different way.
After a few days, Rick went from ghost to news . Someone found his car parked out by the swamp on the edge of town, and the search was on. Suddenly, all traces of anger faded, and Liz was terrified. No one knew when his car got there. There were no surveillance cameras in a swamp, and everyone knew that place was full of alligators. Rumors ranged from taking a stroll too close to a hungry gator to suicide, according to Channel 8 News.
Last year, a gator snatched Velma Kingsley’s toy poodle, which she foolishly took for a walk there, and dragged that poor, fluffy puppy away. No one ever found a trace of that poor little dog, and now everyone in town assumed they had begun feasting upon larger prey.
That douchebag Jimmy fed me to the damn alligators, Rick thought. No, he knew it! And now Rick was trapped inside Jimmy’s house with a lot of time to kill, so he set out to find a way to get revenge.
He found another way to spend some of his time.
It did not take long to discover he did possess one ability. Walls and doors were no longer an obstacle to him. And being invisible had its merits.
Every morning, the first thing Liz did when she turned off her alarm clock and climbed out of bed was to go into her bathroom, take off every stitch of clothing and take a shower.
This was entertainment of the highest order, almost worth dying for. Her little body was absolute perfection. Mangaporn perfect. What an awesome way to start a day watching hot water run down her curves, watching her lathering up every inch of her luscious body, the parts she was only starting to let him think about touching.
Being dead may suck, but being a ghost is not halfbad. The only bad news was his disappointing discovery that ghosts cannot jerk off. What a bummer!
Then, after toweling every inch of her dry, he watched her dress, which was almost as much fun.
Rick tried to use the shower to communicate with her. That stuff about writing on steamy shower doors? Complete bullshit! He could not even leave a handprint, although he did keep trying. One day, he realized he could pass right through that door he could not write on, and shower with her. And he could come as close as he wanted, peering at her from inches away.
He wondered if steam might show him, or water bounce off him or something, but it didn’t. He could see her—every glorious curve and feature—but she had no idea he was there.
Then, once dressed, after breakfast, most days she carpooled with Jimmy the murderer, leaving him with hours to fill and little to do.
One of these days, he resolved to figure out how to turn on the TV like some of those videos showed more experienced ghosts doing, but he failed at that, too.
At first, Jimmy paced around the house, nervous as hell, but as the days wore on and nobody showed up, he started chilling. It was as if killing a guy had no impact on this nerdy psychopath. He went on and on with his family, talking about God forgiving all sins, and that believers were able to live free from guilt, complete with Bible verses to back him up, which he loved to quote.
And Jimmy spent an amazing amount of time using his computer without once looking at porno. Rick hoped he at least had that one redeeming value, but, alas, he was a total waste of space. All he did was troll the internet about political issues that Christians care about. Rick held out hope. Sometimes when Liz was asleep, he spent time watching over her brother’s shoulder as he owned some lib, moving close to try to transmit his thoughts to Jimmy’s brain.
Check out some porno. There are naked girls online. Free, too. Hot ones!
Nothing.
One night, he got so close, beaming thoughts of lipstick s into his head, that he actually touched Jimmy, and something strange happened. Unlike when he tried to feel up Liz’s boobies or that adorable little, round tush of hers in the shower, Rick felt it. Not like a physical touch, something harder to explain. A connection.
He could read Jimmy’s thoughts.
What the hell? Rick just stuck his entire head into Jimmy’s head and, suddenly Jimmy typed in his browser, hairy natural s.
Holy shit!
Okay, let’s see how far we can take this!
Every time Rick wanted him to click on a link with a particularly hot chick, Jimmy clicked. Every single time, far better than mere coincidence could explain. To make sure, he thought Asian chicks nude, and sure enough—Jimmy typed it in!
So, Rick thought it was about time for Jimmy to start jerking off to porn, and in no time, Jimmy was stroking his rod watching these two Asian chicks go at it like they had pussies made of candy. Which, they probably do.
Best of all, when Jimmy came, Rick felt it. Not like his own orgasms, nowhere near as powerful, but a heck of a lot better than anything he’d felt since he died.
Was murdered.
Shit! The only way he could have any fun, other than perving on his widowed girlfriend in the shower, was for Jimmy to get his rocks off watching online porn. His murderer had to get off in order for him to.
Well, at least Jimmy spent an hour praying for forgiveness every time he spanked his monkey to porno. Which may be longer than he ever begged forgiveness for murdering him. Guilt was the best Rick could do, so he did a whole lot of it.
#
Wednesday afternoons, their mother held her weekly ladies’ Bible study, which rotated among the members as weekly hostesses. This week, it was being held downstairs in the living room. From the laughter filtering up to his room, the prayers and Bible lesson were over, and they had reached the time when the ladies broke out coffee and pastries. It had been the same way since they were kids.
For reasons Jimmy could not explain, he went downstairs.
He felt drawn there, and when he went past the living room into the kitchen, he heard them discussing the main topic of conversation around town these days.
“They found his car, but so far, there is no trace of him.” It was Mrs. Robinson. When he went by, he spotted her fiery red hair, which stood out bright as a fire truck’s flashing lights. For years, the more vulgar, unchurched kids called her MILF Robinson, and although Jimmy despised that disgusting term—particularly when referring to a respectable, married lady such as MILF, er, Mrs. Robinson, he caught himself thinking—it was not wholly without reason.
ero