My Wife’s a Lich! SciFi & Fantasy


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Author’s Note: This is a direct sequel to “My Sister’s Possessed!”

All characters are well over the age of eighteen.

“Interesting interrogation room.”

The woman in white smiled over the edge of her teacup at him, “Should we be in one?”

“You’re interviewing us separately. This is an interrogation. If a pleasant one.” John Kurby replied, still not touching the teacup in front of him. Even if it did contain coffee, which was something he hadn’t touched in decades and desperately wanted.

He could feel the little buzzing in his ears as she tried to penetrate his thoughts. The young woman frowned, glaring at him. Her magic twisting and hammering away. She was being delicate, because if you pushed too hard, then the subject would just collapse and pass out. Hard to read someone’s thoughts during a blackout.

She could certainly push too hard, if she wanted. She was the White Witch. The community leader of all things magical. The one called on to keep the gods and demons in line, and the magus hidden from the rest of the world. The dangers of their daily lives were a little too much for the more mundane. There was kindness in hiding, not fear.

“Been a long time since someone could block me out.” She said sourly, “So, I suppose we’ll have to talk, instead. I’m not your enemy, here. I’m not about to fight Ba’al.”

“Ba’la.” He corrected gently, “Ba’al was a mistranslation. The woman is happy to bear the name, because names mean little to a god. They carry different ones throughout the ages. However, knowing is violence, waiting in the wings. You need to make sure it is pointed in the right direction.”

She nodded, “Ba’la, then. She and your daughter have become one. Two, but one all the same. She brought you back from the Shade, and that… Has consequences.”

“Hades has asked for ten souls, for mine, and my wife. Correct that, eleven.”

Lily nodded again, unperturbed, “He has. He can go fuck himself. Last time he came around making demands, I nutted him. This time, I thanked him for the heads up, because he wasn’t the only one who felt the Gates break open, and… Well… The others are a little bit more frustrating.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

She put down her teacup, “Wouldn’t you? You are the John Kurby, aren’t you? You were trained by Myrrdin. Right? Or have I managed to confuse you with someone else?”

“No, I didn’t train with Myrrdin.” John replied darkly, “I tracked him down, and tried to kill him. I failed. And failed again. Tried more than a dozen times. He might consider that training, I… Do not.”

Lily blinked in surprise, “You tried to kill him? And he didn’t just… End you? What are you to him?”

“Entertainment.” John gave a heavy sigh. “But, to your unasked question, he is the one who killed my wife. Myrrdin ended Elizabeth, with prejudice, so I did everything in my power to put him in a grave. He responded by sending me to join her, eventually.”

She scratched her chin, “Never knew the idiot to kill anyone. I’ll talk to him about it. It’s a crime.”

“No, it wasn’t. In the eyes of your laws, it was justified.” John shrugged, “There is apparently something about my wife that you do not yet know. Hades wasn’t just trying to punish you. My wife’s soul is worth exactly ten. There was a balance to it.”

Lily waved a hand, a breeze running through it, “Holy fuck balls. You’re sleeping with a “

“Quite. She also takes a lot of offence to the common term.” John interrupted quickly.

The woman frowned, “So… You managed to hold your own against Myrrdin? Not many can make that claim.”

“Neither can I. He killed me.”

Lily snorted, “True. Still, he should have told me about your wife. Even if it was before my time. Told me a lot of his shit, when I took the hat.”

John said nothing. He could smell the coffee the scent growing. She wasn’t just talking to him. The buzz between his ears was also growing. She wanted to understand something about him, and was becoming impatient. It was always this way when dealing with witches.

“Not just a witch. The witch.” Lily answered his thought.

He sighed tiredly, “Surface thoughts alone. Anything inparticular that you’re fishing for?”

“Mostly seeing what you can handle. You probably got a little taste of everything on my plate at the moment.” Lily shrugged, still boring away at his guard, “One of the more insane moments, was when a young woman named Raquel did something I’d never seen. She died. She also refused to stay dead. Climbed right on out of her grave.”

John blinked, “A spontaneous vampire? Without being infected?”

“Nope. Zombie. She dragged her own soul back from Paradise.” Lily shook her head.

He frowned, “That’s… Concerning. Paradise, you’re sure? The Gates were damaged. She could have “

“Quite certain. That fucker managed to come back all on her own. Plagued by nightmares. Fucked up the magic fabric of the world pretty bad. But with Chris to balance her, she adapted to her body. Brought it back to life, piece by piece.”

John frowned, “But with the return of Ba’la as well, then…”

“Just a matter of time before the Chayot Ha Kodesh arrive. They’ve left Paradise, I’ve already confirmed that.” Lily took a deep breath. “I… Managed to get my hands on your daughter’s lightning bolt. Thanks to a member of the Tuatha de Danann. I plan on arming her. Returning her to the throne, so to speak. Give myself some breathing room.”

“Don’t say it so selfcentred. It’s obvious you’re protecting someone. That’s the only reason you’re considering it. To use my daughter as a target, to drag the attention away from…?”

Lily grinned, “Yeah, sorry. That’d be Ryker. My brother. My love. He… Attracts things. Everything. Whole world gets dragged in and centred on him. Because he and I are… What we are.”

“Using… My daughter… As a target.”

She nodded, “Which is your motivation. I want you to track down the four Chayot Ha Kodesh. So I can put them back where they belong. If you don’t… With her bolt… They’ll come for her. Bek won’t stand a chance.”

“You underestimate Ba’la.” John disagreed, “But… She will wreck the world for the rest of us, in the process. If I am to do this for you…”

“Elizabeth is in a prison of my own making. And she’s not getting out anytime soon.” Lily growled, “That woman is… A monster. I didn’t realise what she was, until you told me, but she’s already tried to take my head off and eat it. So, no. Fuck no. You don’t get to have your wife by your side. Save your daughter. Save who you can.”

John smiled, “Of course she has. You stand between her, and freedom. What did you expect would happen? You threatened her daughter.”

“Look, I’m trying to be nice here. But I am still the mother White Witch. You guys are breaking the rules, just by existing.” Lily shrugged, “Tell me… What exactly am I supposed to do?”

“Set another teacup.”

Lily blinked, “I beg your pardon?”

John rubbed his ears as the explosion deafened him, black smoke emerging from the ground where the table had been. Elizabeth reared up like a liquid shadow, before bursting into being with a polite smile. She grinned at him, before turning to the White Witch.

Lily cussed, “Fuck sake. You know this is my house, right? Do you have to destroy it?”

“I am afraid I found your accommodations to be less than desirable.” Elizabeth replied, “Just making a point, dear.”

“Proving mine.” Lily smiled at the both of them, “Seems like you two really are the perfect match. Frankly, I have too much on my plate. Ginger was picking up the slack but… Fan’s distracting her. And… Well… There’s something I need.”

Elizabeth waved a hand, a shadow reconstructing the table with a squeal of tortured hatred, and then picked up the coffee cup and sipped at it. “You wish us to find Mikhael.”

“Nope. He’s the easy one, not in hiding.” Lily shook her head, “Actually… Eh… The Chayot Ha Kodesh can kinda wait. I’m pretty sure the path will lead to them. But, if we’re to do things properly… Start off with a smaller case. Like I said, I think it will lead to Mikhael and his.”

John frowned, “‘He’ is the wrong word. Angels are without gender. ‘They’ would work. So… This case, that’s small and big at the same time, I’m gonna guess… Murder?”

“Theft.”

Elizabeth sat down on her husband’s knee, “Testing us, quite obviously. You have our attention. We are quite rapt. One might even say enthralled.”

Lily snickered, “You noticed that spell, didya? Sorry. I’m not going to let a … Thing like you… Walk around in my house, with Ryker anywhere nearby. He’ll send you nuts, and I’ll have to send you back to Hades in pieces.”

“I have worked a few theft cases, but that was never much my wheelhouse. I was more of a bounty hunter.” John said hesitantly.

The White Witch nodded, “Right. But I need specialists. So you two, are it. Ginger will be your backup. Estelle is busy. Quick rundown on the case that you have no choice about taking. A book was stolen from a teashop, running in an industrial part of the city. Granny Green’s. Owner’s not a magus. Has no clue magic is real.”

Elizabeth made a bitter face, “Oh.”

“You know the place?”

“You mentioned books, actually.” John said quickly, “Last time Elizabeth found a magical book, she got stuck inside it for a week. It was a cursed copy of Through The Looking Glass.”

Lily burst out laughing, “Wow. Shit. That was definitely one of Myrrdin’s. He’s a total ass about that stuff.”

“I inserted it into his rectum, personally.” Elizabeth replied with a tight smile.

The witch’s smile vanished, “Maybe you can help me out. Before today, I was basically unaware of the Kurby’s. Something vague, that you might have been murdered. Nothing important. Now, your daughter is a god, and you two say you’ve fought one of my mentors. Why does no one know you?”

“That’s an easy one.” John shrugged, “Because we’re not… Typical magus. We have always lived on the outskirts of society, because of our training. You know what my wife is. I, on the other hand, was employed to be a hunter.”

Lily stared for a moment.

Elizabeth shrugged, “I was one of his targets, at one time.”

“True name. Now.” Lily snapped.

John sighed heavily, “My true name, that would give you the power to command me, is Gram.”

“Witch hunter.” Lily seethed, before taking a deep shuddering breath, “Seems you are the right person of the job. But if you’re thinking of trying to take Balmung up against me… Don’t worry. The sword is nice and sealed away.”

“That was just a family heirloom. I find the tongue to be the most useful weapon in a modern world.” John replied calmly.

“Gram, if I’m remembering right, has nine credited kills against his name. How many of those were actually your wife’s?”

Elizabeth grinned, “I can quite see why Rebecca enjoys you. Such brutal honesty. I am afraid, I never have killed another witch. It is against my mantra. I’d much rather arrange for John to cut them down.”

“You kill a witch, you lose your fucked up magic. Guess I’m okay with that.” Lily nodded, “What about you, Mr. Kurby? If this case leads you to a magus… You ready to cut them down, for the good of all?”

“I’m not a utilitarian. The common good doesn’t exactly motivate me.” John replied tightly, “However, if death is the only solution, then death I will serve.”

Elizabeth shivered with a small blush.

Lily shrugged, “Wow. Uh… Yeah, you’ll do. So, stolen book, Granny Green’s. I’ve got a taxi on the way to take you both there.”

“You knew she’d escape.” John chuckled.

The witch rolled her eyes, “Duh. Locking up a friggin’ lich? Since when has that ever worked?”

“You utter… Whore!” Elizabeth’s eyes flashed a shining red, “You made me come here, break in here, to bind me. So I couldn’t slit your throat!”

“Pretty much.” Lily shrugged.

John rubbed his eyes, “Kid… That was smart… And so dumb. It’s gonna bite you in the ass.”

“Whatevs.” The White Witch was unconcerned, “So, here’s your IDs. Because you’ll be working with mundanes, you’ll be identifying yourselves as Special Agents of the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation. They serve as our government’s internal intelligence agency, with ASIS as the foreign counterpart.”

“I know who ASIO are.” John sighed.

“Still working on getting you real IDs. I can break in, and inject you into any system, but… Kinda not actually finding the right place to break into, just yet.” Lily shrugged. “So don’t throw your weight around.”

“In a previous life, I was a ballerina. I have no weight to speak of.” Elizabeth said sourly.

John held up a hand, “We understand. She just doesn’t like you.”

“No one does.” Lily shrugged.

Elizabeth sighed, “You are the White Witch. A role that was absent for some time. It is a heavy burden to bear, and one that I attempted to, in life. I quite comprehend the weight of responsibility that you face. All the same, I do believe your face would serve well on my plate.”

“You’re not the White Witch. I am. You don’t comprehend shit.” Lily replied testily, and then waved a hand, “Taxi’s at the door. He’s just messing with the meter before honking. Go get ’em, tigers.”

John stood up, “We are not your enemy, miss.”

“Don’t become one.” She threatened him back.

Elizabeth gave a polite laugh, and took John’s hand in hers, “Oh, that one does seem like quite the fun little pet, does she not?”

“That pet can sentence us both to death.” John said quietly, eyes watching the driver.

His wife shrugged, and squeezed his hand tightly, “Ah. You must still be suffering. This is the fourth time I have crossed the boundary, but your very first. Such an assignment, so soon after “

“I’m worried about Rebecca.” John shook his head, “Barely met Josh. He seems… I dunno. But he’s friends with the White Witch, and her ilk. Have you forgotten why I became a hunter?”

Elizabeth gently took her hand back, “Of course not.”

“The book we’re after… She didn’t exactly tell us what it was for. Or the title, even.” John frowned, moving the topic of conversation onwards.

His wife pulled a small square of fabric, inside a wooden hoop, from out of thin air. She began threading the needle for her embroidery and gave a small shrug. “I am quite certain that the owner of the store will be able to inform us.”

“She’s hiding things.” John shook his head.

Elizabeth laughed, “But of course! She is the master, and us the slaves. That has always been the way of things. We are to incur her wrath, if we hesitate. If we stop to consider the options, then we will be defying her will. So she puts us under this pressure, with no obvious door to exit by.”

“Do you remember when we crossed paths with Mikhael, last time?”

Her face went white, and she gave a small tsk as she pricked her finger. “Quite.”

John leaned back into the seat, wondering if the driver knew a good place to stop and get a knife. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to go into this without his tools on hand.

He didn’t like the idea of relying completely on his wife’s abilities, especially hours after being resurrected. She wasn’t a killer anymore, but the hunger would be there. The anger of someone betrayed by everyone she had known, and hated by everyone she didn’t.

“She suggested that Myrrdin persists. Will it be a problem, dear?” Elizabeth asked lightly.

John grunted, “Definitely. Regardless of the White’s attitude, the moment he hears you’re back, he’ll come gunning for us.”

“How lovely!” She let out a tiny cackle, before blushing at herself.

The hunter just turned to watch the outside world passing by. In the decade and half since he’d been gone, the world had changed. Cars had got larger, heavier, but smoother. The seat felt like luxury compared to the one he’d known.

The city towers had gotten taller. The tallest from his last life, now lay almost invisible below the lifted horizon of the rest. The light reflected down in harsher beams, the green disappearing into the swathes of a city determined to leave its heavy mark upon the earth.

Air tasted more bitter, whilst the air conditioning of the vehicle scrubbed that distaste away easier. Packing away the destruction, so that the individual didn’t realise just what kind of place they now lived in.

Phones had gone from a flipping device, almost close to a PDA, to now so engrossing he counted a dozen people walking blindly in front of vehicles before he stopped bothering.

The radio waves buzzing in his head were now screaming, fuelling the rampant rise of technology.

It wasn’t just the surface world that had advanced, though. The mana streams that had been flowing rivers and soaring winds, were now being siphoned off into various districts.

Consumed at rates he could barely believe possible. He could pinpoint the White Witch by her own enormous draw on the energies of the world, as well as a half dozen others. He had no idea who they were, what they were. He just knew that those were the places were magic was disappearing at an incredible rate.

One of those, lay close to the taxi’s destination.

The closer they got, the further from the towering office buildings. More and more sheds and processing centres. Higher fences, more guards, railings, and security cameras.

John frowned, “Feel it?”

“I am not as attuned to things as yourself.” Elizabeth admonished, before her face darkened, “But I am not the only one who has touched the shadows in this place.”

“You folk… Uh… Okay back there?” The driver asked anxiously.

John scoffed, “Myrrdin, drop the act, would you? There’s three people in this car who know who you are. As if you wouldn’t show.”

“Oh, John!” The driver laughed, “Just a simple possession spell. I can hardly afford the time to personally deliver you to hell’s gates. Though… That seems to be less effective than I thought it would be.”

Elizabeth sighed, “Oh, you bloody man. I do not think our new employer would like your taunting. We report now to the White Witch. What would the little miss say, if you brought us to considerable harm?”

“Kid was born to her magic.” Myrrdin replied sourly, “She never had to earn it. To stand on the hills, and turn the wind to storms with a whisper. Never had to strike down lightning to turn back the armies. She hasn’t known war.”

John doublechecked his and Elizabeth’s seatbelts, and then put his hands across opposite shoulders, relaxing into the position and making sure to continue breathing normally.

Elizabeth sneered, “Magic you stole, you bitter old man. You spoke so sweetly to the Fae, enticing them to live beside you in love… You carved your arcane symbols in their flesh and bound them to this plane with your hate. Before you ripped their wings off, boiled them and ate them.”

“Needs must.” Myrrdin replied demurely, before swinging the wheel and driving the car at full speed into a signpost.

John shook his head, ears ringing and vision still tilting, as he reached down and undid his seatbelt. He batted aside the detonated airbag, before stepping out of the cracked and bent door.

His feet nearly gave out as he landed on the gravel, still shaking his head. He looked around blearily, and made a simple sigil for protection. Wouldn’t be much against one like Myrrdin, but it’d give John a warning.

It immediately cracked, but an arm went around his waist, and he found himself on the nearby pavement as another car slammed directly through where he had been standing, caving the taxi in and around the car.

John limped over and yanked the driver’s door open, drawing a circle in the air, before appending a sort of extended ‘V’ on top of it. He cupped his hands and breathed into them, before placing his hands to the nose of the unconscious driver.

They sucked in their breath rapidly, before beginning to breathe again.

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