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So this is where I will store the original ‘red’ outline notes I made before writing. I usually delete these while editing the first draft for wording/grammar errors. Thankfully spelling isn’t an issue, usually.
Since this is a ‘no colour’ formatting website. The original ‘red’ should be in bold.
When I write, I use a black background and colour my text. Red for outline notes, then yellow for first draft, and finally white after it’s been through the editing process.
Chapter 1
The one where they find the hole.
I wrote all the ‘taglines’ or ‘short descriptions’ first. Several puns with ‘hole’. I crack me up sometimes.
Establish who what when where.
Francis Roche. Called “roach” instead of Roh shay as it’s supposed to.
Senior Year High school, everyone’s 18 obviously.
So interesting thing happened here. My initial thought was ‘bullied kid’ so the ‘antagonist’ was going to be the stereotypical jock character. But as I wrote this scene, my mind changed. From ‘directed’ evil to a more ‘callous’ uncaring bullying. Chad there doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. Just never cared to learn his name properly.
Fun fact. The Roché accented é is the last e from an auto corrected word of animé. I write and use my computer with a program called Autohotkey constantly running. It seamlessly fixes most of my spelling mistakes as I type. I picked up a ‘commonly misspelled English words’ script for the program to accomplish this. Additional bonus tip, I added typing @@ becoming my email address to the script. It’s fantastic and I never have to type out my email address. Highly recommended.
I can only hope that the lunch scene portrayed a type and style of humour I’m going for. Establishing another potential ‘antagonistic’ character for the future.
Introduce our characters and their existing relationship
Girl Madeline Callahan frizzy red head, slightly overweight, plump, witch type. Girlfriend
Boy Francis Roche long haired skinny kid. Boyfriend.
This was a large section. Walk to house. Meet the parents of Maddie. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and all that.
Little bit of romantic tension. Some background information. Friendly playing. I particularly enjoyed writing the ‘Do you think I’m pretty?’ internal monologue question.
Helen of troy was known for a ‘face that launched a thousand ships’. So Eve is at a rating of two metric Helen’s. Rate your friends by how many ships they can launch with a slightly more realistic millihelen. Guarantee at least one milihelen by using their face to push a rowboat off a boat launch.
As discussed in the final part. I had to justify why things wouldn’t ‘work’ and wrote in a better description for the mirrors after the fact. Behind the scenes knowledge!
They’ve got magic powers.
Ah the magic. Didn’t want to put in too much effort with ‘how things work’ at least this far in the . So a text reverser for “These are the magic words that make portals appear” generated the existing magic words. Basically Zatanna from DC comics.
Brainstorm what they can do with the hole.
The puns begin. Just the absolute worst puns imaginable.
Pretty much expanding on the Portal video game. Those portals never ‘moved’ or ‘rotated’ because it’s a video game, and programming is hard. Gonna have to think about the whole what happens when you slap a portal on a stationary object thinking exercise.
And the song is specifically “still alive” written by Johnathan Coulton. Play through the original game ‘Portal’ via Steam. It’s the end credits song.
CONTINUITY ERROR FOUND. While editing, I realized they did one test with a mop. A MOP you see. A mop which is somewhat known for having a relatively wide stringy head. So instead of it ‘falling through’ I’m now going to have it ‘get stuck’. Can’t have my later plot point of ‘can’t reach’ being undermined because of something like this.
Write over a long period of time, but make sure to edit in a single session.
Parents come home was fun to write as well. Basically mentally torturing children with good advice is fun for adults. Talk to your own children about Minecraft as ‘that block game with the digging.’ and see them internally wince.
Giving the two families different personalities was actually quite refreshing. The Callahan’s I’m aiming for loving/joking/living large kind of thing. The Roché a little colder. Still parents, but a bit more ‘busy’ with their life.
Ah right the first ” scene. Very brief shower masturbation, cut short. I’m deliberately bookending all the scenes with 13 * (*************) for accessibility reasons. Perhaps you don’t want any stuff when reading a on the website. Or maybe you ONLY want , and skip all the . You do you boo.
The title is ‘modern holes’ mostly because I wanted a modern day setting with a little bit of magic. They’re still teenagers, who meet each other regularly at school. They’ve got phones, but don’t need to use them because they know the next time they see each other is just a few hours away. Using the portal holes for talking should be novelty for them.
Stick a dick through
Oh baby, dedicated first time stuff. I was going for ‘tentative’ and a ‘ramping up’ of desire with this section. Uncensored hand holding, how risqué!
The ending of ‘he couldn’t reach’ would technically not have been a problem with the original ‘hand mirror’ my initial writing had included. Hence the change of description to a bulky thing with lights and a relatively tiny mirror section.
Also yes, it STILL wouldn’t have been an ‘issue’ if Maddie had folded herself such that her was ‘poking out’ from below. Sorta like sitting on a chair, laying on her side, holding the mirror ‘underneath’ herself. But 1. They’re dumb kids. And 2. that’s probably not a comfortable position to hold ‘for yourself’ and ‘for an extended period of time’. Also, this provides a lot of ‘motivation’ for Maddie to experiment with the holes and their shape going forward.
Did you know that acrylic mirrors, that come in rolls of sticky backed sheets, are like $15 on Amazon?
Chapter 2
Integrating the hole into their daily lives.
Morning conversation with Mom
So I had been thinking of the natural consequences of having these holes. We pick up essentially where we left off. The holes are always active and they fell asleep with them near their heads.
I felt that the whole talking to your lover bit was cute. Throw in a good ‘five more minutes’ joke and you’ve got writing gold.
ProTip: Take any two tropes, mash them together, and you’ve got something that’s one step removed from standard. Just different enough to hopefully provide inspiration.
This line, “Francis asked in a manner suggesting that he only ever needed one.” Is basically me channelling Terry Pratchett. God I wish I could do what he could do.
From here we have a heart to heart with Mom. I curse myself for giving her a first name, and being forced to use it now. But ‘Debra’ is easier to type than ‘Francis’ mom’ constantly.
I’m insinuating that Debra is a single mother. Whether through divorce or through being a widow I’ll leave up in the air until it’s interesting to discuss. Mostly because I wanted Francis to have a different family dynamic than Maddie.
Oh man the time. I wanna talk about the time. I originally written the time numbers as an hour later. Mostly because I wanted the sunrise portion at the end of the talk. But this showed how far off I have been forgetting my own High School times. Most classes start around 7:30 or 8:00 a.m. Which means they need to be at the bus at least by 7:00 (note to self, when at bus scene, double check time.)
Bus ride discussion to school with Maddie
7:03, did the time correctly.
I was trying to provide a ‘little mystery’ for the readers to solve here. Give a bunch of options for new holes. Let them think a bit about how said holes could be used.
Very awkward flirting. No real wordplay there. But hey, they’re just starting out at this.
Tiny bit of titillation as well. Not much, just a taste.
Time at school, briefly.
Like four lines of ‘school went fine’. Absolutely pressing to keep track of with my overall outline.
Maybe I could have included a scene where they meet Sally as a pair, and she senses something is up with the two of them. But I’m gonna save that for later.
I’ve got a ‘dramatis personae’ document so I can remember who I’ve ‘created’ for this . It’s currently 9 people. As I’m editing chapter 2. Probably not going to get much larger until later on. I COULD add ‘chemistry teacher’ to that list, but they’re just background dressing at the moment.
Essentially, when a character gets a written name in the , added then.
Shopping for and experimenting with the hole.
Oh man, this section was long. To this one line note, I should have broken it up into two sections. But they’re outlines, and the writing itself just blossomed naturally so to speak.
I think I’ll never mention a store or business by name. Mostly because I never really want to have to nail down where this is taking place. Although you can rule out certain places because this isn’t China, where ‘high school’ is more akin to western university. You live and learn.
Oh ho! Shopping trip ‘horrified’ expression. A little more mystery.
Ah the shop name. I stand by the advice of “if you can find a pun name for a business, you should stop whatever you’re doing and start that business.”
A point I made when submitting the first chapter was that I had been explicit with Francis’ age (18) but was only implicit with Maddie’s. So here is where I get explicit by having them both get their ID’s checked.
Researching the different types of cock ring was actually an interesting endeavour. Should you and your loved one consider using one, make sure to get one dedicated for it’s use. Like don’t go to a hardware store and get silicon grommets or O rings. They won’t be tough enough.
The lube. I recall a weird Amazon prime days article saying that the “sale” really only had a single item that was worth purchasing at the discount available. Which was a literal drum barrel of lube.
I threw in the ‘moving fast bit’ because really! They’re kids, basically, and getting in over their heads. Might as well have one of them acknowledge it.
Asking your partner if they have allergies? Communication between partners? Will wonders never cease.
Monty Python reference!
shop workers aren’t there to be bawdy people hell bent on embarrassing you. They’re professionals who will talk to you about the products and answer questions.
I originally had Maddie’s mother there, watching a soap opera. My initial thoughts were she leaves the house to do grocery shopping or something. But that got awkward when I was writing the section and just had the house be empty to start with. No muss no fuss.
Another nod to ‘moving fast’. Also check in with your partners folks.
I know I’ve made Maddie a bit overweight. And I keep having her eat things during this . Just have to establish that weight loss needs both diet and exercise to be effective.
Reminding the reader (and myself) about the spell rules.
Oh yeah, I added in the apple bit to the food gathering scene because I needed Francis to take a little bit longer away from the ‘action’ of Maddie doing stuff.
Has magic lost it’s ‘magic’? Eh kinda. It’s the exact same spell as before. When I find a need for something more interesting, I’ll be sure to hype it up a bit more.
I totally forgot to include the candles in writing the spell scene. Just decided to roll with it.
Establishing some more rules for the mirror holes. Basically if the thing gets ‘broken’ the hole doesn’t snap shut immediately.
I strongly considered doing a scene of ‘in person portal ‘ of some kind. But I kinda figure that Maddie is somewhat embarrassed about her body shape. Although I’ve not directly had that spoken outloud. Maybe do a scene where Francis tries to initiate and Maddie says not right now? So like the holes are good to go, but not in person.
Another point where I should have used more outline notes. This is VERY long time to go off of a single point.
I don’t know what came over me with my desire to describe the bathroom. Might come into effect in a future chapter?
scene! With cock rings. Generally speaking, don’t use two at the same time. Life advice right there. (unless you’re a character in a .)
At the point with the lube. I realized that I didn’t divvy up the shop purchases. So Francis has the condoms, and nothing else really. I was somewhat concerned about this but it actually helped out a future scene. Life finds a way. Constraints fuel creativity.
The lube is a spray, it’s a gel, it’s whatever is appropriate at the moment. It’s got a spray nozzle, a gel pump, or maybe an open top.
Looks like I forgot a paragraph showing that Francis was cumming. I figured there was something off about how ‘Francis is feeling good’ and ‘Maddie felt him cum’ without that little intermediate step.
Pee after . Slightly more important for women, but useful for men as well.
Another scene where parents embarrass their children. Never gets old.
I forgot that the adults all were referring to Maddie by her full name Madeline.
So I could have ended the chapter at the being caught by mom section. That could have been appropriate. But I felt that Maddie wasn’t ‘getting enough’ of the scenes. So I kinda tacked on the masturbation scene at the end there. It did help round out the word count. First chapter was like 10k words, this one was about 9k.
Also keeping the true form of the ‘other holes’ a secret to be revealed later. Stretch out the ‘little mystery’.
I’m not exactly an expert on female masturbation. Doing a lot of guessing.
Super easy cliffhanger ending for chapter 2 here. I’m almost embarrassed that I’ve used it. Almost.
As a final note, I did a bit ‘more’ red outlines for the next couple chapters. I wouldn’t say they’re genius level notes. But they’re a bit better than this chapters. They’ve got locations in them.
Chapter 3
Sharing is caring when you’ve got a hole.
Meet Francis at bus stop, give him the ‘pocket pussy’ witch gift
I did another instance of Francis’ last name because I couldn’t immediately recall when was the last time I wrote it out. So I figured it would be a good reminder.
I feel that the simile I used there was indulgent. But this sure ain’t commercial work.
Direct lifting of lyrics from “The Cuppycake Song” of which I barely remembered the actual lyrics and had to look them up. I always figured that song was longer.
“swotted”? “Swatted”? A singular swot? Bit of some old english there.
Aha, another writing error. I originally wrote “free period right before lunch.” and what I had happen later on was a three period section where he had number two open. So class, nothing, class, lunch. Gotta fix that.
So with ‘portal fantasy’ there’s a number of obvious tropes. Mostly centring around easy access to your partners private parts. I figured it was important to sort of establish those tropes early on. Get the easy ones out of the way.
“pocket pussy” is just a lovely pun in this situation.
Considering the numerous options and variability for female genitalia, I opted for an ‘innie’ with Maddie. No particular reason.
If this were to happen in the real world, would it ruin these children’s regular notion of uality? Probably yes! They’re getting all the stuff, but none of the ‘rest of the human’ part of it.
The pocket pussy goes into the pocket.
Young woman bites off more than she can chew with regards to first ual experience. Film at 11.
Another reminder about the main characters family name. Callahan this time. My own name starts with a C as well, so I’m used to being near the front of many roll call lists. I’m thinking there’s like two siblings with Anderson before her.
I recall mentioning that I preface/bookend all the ual stuff with thirteen star symbols. But a lot of the buildup isn’t in that section. Foreplay is important with stuff.
I rather enjoyed the back and forth scene transitions part here. Making sure to ‘link’ or ‘rhyme’ the sections was fun.
Teacher being basically ‘teacher’ and given no personality is kinda taking inspiration from “Peanuts” with their adults talking being a bunch of ‘wah wah wah’ noises. I think that’s because I was reading a webcomic called “Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal” and they put up a comic about Charlie Brown finally kicking the football, then becoming a MMA star. It’s good. https://www.smbccomics.com/comic/brown
A very mid west kind of gesture. Slapping your legs before getting up to leave. Just signalling that the night is over and it’s time to go.
Showing that Francis is at least attempting to think rationally about this event was somewhat important. Sure I could have handwaved wherever they wanted to perform as ‘safe’ but working through the options helped show how this character thinks.
My original line was ‘did his business’. I did intentionally come back before this editing session to add ‘and wash his hands.’ because hygiene is important when you’re about to touch your friends and lovers private parts.
wearing the panties in school getting eaten out
I’m somewhat worried about what I will write about now that the characters are getting past the ‘exploration’ stage of their relationship. I won’t be able to really delve into direct descriptions.
The best piece of advice I received was to use ‘no more than two paper thicknesses of pressure’ when touching the clit. It’s a sensitive thing.
Doing the back and forth here is important with the portals. Showing the reactions to what the partner is doing shows how things going overall. The characters might not know what the other is doing. All they can tell is what is happening to them. But the reader probably wants to know that it’s good for both parties.
Index finger vs pointer finger. I suppose it is a bit of a regional thing. I recall that some cultures point with their middle finger.
The G spot is unique for every woman. The bit about ‘wrinkly’ skin is purely from personal experience.
Engaging in is actually a fairly rigorous endeavour. There’s a certain amount of effort required that takes getting used to. So be sure to take breaks when needed, and build up to anything marathon like.
Taste is interesting. In the end, if you lick long enough, it just tastes like skin. So if things aren’t great, just power through for your lady friend.
I realize now that I use the word ‘slick’ maybe a bit too often. Going to look at a thesaurus now. (Satiny, sleek, silken, silky, glossy, slippery, slippy, smooth)
Lunch time cafeteria big declarative kiss. A discussion about body types.
As I was writing this part, I was tickled pink by the idea of self doubt for Francis. Something that I’m certain a lot of men get from time to time. In this case it would be because he couldn’t get actual feedback from Maddie in the moment. There were no “Yes!” or “Don’t stop” bits of feedback. Always listen to your partner folks.
I will admit the whole ‘Am I fat?’ conversation is kinda out of nowhere. I was somewhat fixated on the discussion about body types point in my notes there. Really what I was aiming for was a somewhat realistic reason for the characters, both of them, to get in shape.
But a teenage girl feeling bad about her body? In 2024 with all the social media apps? It’s more likely than you think. Do talk to your children about realistic body standards.
Ah right, I was experimenting with my writing style around this point a bit. Essentially in the first two chapters I was always extremely explicit with who was speaking and doing what in every paragraph. The first time there was a He, I would include that it was Francis specifically. In this chapter I relaxed that a little bit. Since it’s Maddie and Francis for the most part. He and She are always referencing one other person and usually cannot be mixed up. So I could stretch out that recognition into multiple paragraphs, not always referencing the person’s name every paragraph. I think it’s fine.
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