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#Tween
By Tina
I have tried therapy with several different people. I have been committed to mental hospitals. I tried social accounts and mostly they gaslight me and call me names. I am trying this and hoping I don’t fail cause I am at my end I think. If this is not in any order I am sorry but I am writing what comes to mind. My life has been a mix of sexual trauma and abuse. It started early but I have to say some of it was my fault.
I found out about sex early and went down the rabbit hole. I have done so many bad things. I have let so many bad things happen. You would think that I couldn’t fit everything I’ve done in only 20 yrs but somehow I have. I don’t think I will tell of my very beginnings as I do not want to be banned from another site. Just know I was young and the guys were not.
My pics are out there and at times I have weird thoughts on them. Not all the men were bad though. I was 10 when this happened. I was already used for many years by then. This guy was one of the ones not bad. By that I mean he didn’t hurt me he just wanted to use me for my body. He was a neighbor who was friends with my parents and sometimes he would come over the house to visit. One of those times he saw me coming out of the bathroom and I was not fully dressed and didn’t know he was there. He saw my flat chest and was embarrassed. He said sorry and said I should always be cautious. I told him I didn’t care if he saw me and then flashed my butt at him.
To say he was nervous would be correct. When my parents were around I didn’t say or do anything but when they would leave us alone I would flirt. Not very well cause I was a kid but I used what I knew worked. I told him I wouldn’t tell and he could see more of me if he wanted. I got next to him and said he could even play with my kitty. If you couldn’t tell I was sex crazed and didn’t know how to turn it off. That’s how I was taught and conditioned. I knew he didn’t have a girlfriend so I said I could suck his dick and he could cum in my mouth. He kept looking for my parents to come back but before they did I used his hand to rub my kitty. He felt how wet I was and that convinced his dick to let me have what I wanted.
He asked my dad if I could help around his house and he would give me a little money. I jumped at the chance and begged to let me go help. To this day I don’t know if dad knew what I was going to do or not but he let me and mom said to be safe and not do anything too hard. If she only knew what hard thing I was going to do she would have never let me go. We get to his house and I am all over him. He is still asking if we should do this cause he does have things I could do. I told him I wanted this and he asked how long have I been active. I told him and he was shocked. I told him a few of the guys and I refused to give names. Many I didn’t know to be fair but I wanted him to know I could keep secrets.
I got on my knees and crawled to him and begged to see his dick. I could tell he was half hard and when he took it out it kind of sprung out. I laughed and said his dick must really want to be in my mouth to show up like that. I began to lick the side and kissed the head. I heard him say he couldn’t believe he was letting me do this and before he could change his mind I put it in my mouth. He wasn’t the biggest but he was thick. I had trouble sucking it so I only got about half in. He said to let him sit down cause if not he might fall over. He gets on the couch and I begin to really suck it.
I felt his hand on my head and knew he would want to push me down further so I let him know he could but if I slapped his thigh or pinched him he should let me go. He says sluts should be able to take it all and I appeared to be a slut. He pushed my head down and tried to get it all in my mouth. About 2/3 of his dick did but I still couldn’t take it all. He started to fuck my mouth. I did gag and choke some but I tried not to let it stop him. He was saying how good my mouth felt and said he would be using my mouth again and again. (He did many times and also used my other holes) but not this time. This time he just fucked my mouth. I could tell he was getting close cause he was holding my head down harder and trying to get it in my throat. Right before he came he succeeded and I felt his hairs tickle me as he held me until he finished. He was saying how I was a good girl for taking him all and this way I could swallow his cum without any problem. I had drool all over my face mixed in with a little of his cum.
He told me I should have a pic made cause I was sexy as hell. I told him he could and he did and then put me in a few different poses. We talked some and I told him he could fuck me that I could take it and he said next time. Before I went home he did lick my pussy and give me another load of cum. I had to make sure none got on me and he gave me $10 so I would have something to show when I got home.
He was one of my favorites cause he never made me do anything I didn’t want to do. Some would force me and not give me a choice. He was always nice to me and I made lots of money from him.He moved when I was 13 and I do miss. him. He had me every way he could think of. Maybe if this gets enough responses I will tell another story. Maybe my first gangbang or the first time I charged for sex? Maybe one the the times I was forced? Maybe not though. Maybe the first time I got pregnant? Please now some things I will not want to talk about and if I change my mind be respectful. I could really use that right now. I am hoping me talking like this helps and not hurts me.
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By Tina
#Tween
