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The drive home felt like it took days rather than hours. The air between Coach and me was so awkward. I mean, what do you say to your coach after he spends all night blowing your back out and breeding your pussy? Felt a little weird to shoot the shit after he had his dick in me all night. And I mean that literally, I slept with his dick still inside my pussy. Definitely gave me the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months.
It was pretty fucked up, in a way, but also I knew Coach did that for me to help me out. I definitely didn’t feel like I got taken advantage of, I came onto him really strong and I feel bad, he might have felt like it was his responsibility or duty to fuck me.
“So, Luke…” Coach started. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Uh, sure, Coach.”
“You know… exploring your uality is very normal for young men. And maybe by experimenting, you’ll find out new things about yourself.”
Experimenting? What was Coach talking about?
“There’s many different kinds of attraction and love. You love baseball, you love your mom, and you love your friends. You love them all differently, but it’s love all the same.”
I guess Coach was right. I mean, I didn’t know about loving my friends, but Coach was like a dad to me, even though he wasn’t my real dad. Except for the fact that he just bred me like a bitch in a motel.
“Sometimes it’s hard to place how you love someone, and it’s normal for someone to be a little unsure of who they love romantically, especially if they have feelings for a friend who they also love as a friend.”
Uh, what? That was like some kind of riddle. I guess what Coach was saying, you can love someone like you wanna date them, but also love them as a friend?
“But your mom, your friends, and baseball teammates all love you back Luke, and if it takes time to sort out how you want to love the people in your life, trying to be honest with yourself and the people you love is hard but worth it for you and for them.”
“I gotta be honest, Coach, I don’t really understand what you’re getting at.”
Coach seemed kind of uncomfortable, shifting in his seat a little, but he started over.
“Listen, I’ve known you for a long time, and well… I’ve never noticed you interested in any girls. I had actually thought you and Chrissy might get together, but you ended up as just friends.”
“No way Coach, gross! She’s like a sister to me, you know that.”
“Well she used to flirt with you. You never noticed how clingy she got in middle school? Though she stopped once she realized it was never going to work out.”
“Man, I just thought that was how girls got.”
“It’s not just Chrissy. I’ve noticed many young women flirting with you, some of them very aggressively, and you hardly seemed to notice. But, you’ve never dated anyone. I’ve heard them talking, here and there, a lot of them want to be your first girlfriend.”
“What, really? Is that why girls always come up to me and wanna hang out?”
“You haven’t noticed them whispering to each other when you walk by? Or they come up to start a conversation with you and you blow them off?”
“Well, I can be dense so I just don’t know what flirting is I guess.”
“You’ve never wanted to date any girl?” he asked carefully.
“I just haven’t found someone I like like that yet,” I said, a line I’ve said a million times before, but not really believing it anymore.
“Maybe the right person is closer than you think. Maybe they’ve been there all along.”
I didn’t realize that Coach was all sappy and romantic and shit. But I still had no idea what he was talking about.
“Maybe, you could try experimenting. And see if there are other options out there.”
I guess Coach hadn’t realized I’ve already done stuff. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I’d done tons of experimenting with Sammy, if you can call it that.
Kissing Sammy. That time when he pressed his soft full lips to mine, his tongue shaking out, exploring my mouth. I remember feeling him kiss my neck while he was me, feeling his weight on me as he thrusted, feeling his strong arms holding me tight, his hard cock making me feel better than I ever have in my life. Fuck, just thinking about it started to get my pussy moist again.
Somehow I was saved from any more awkwardness because Coach turned onto my street. When Coach pulled into my driveway, I got out of the car and leaned into the passenger window.
“So, uh. Thanks Coach. For driving me and… you know,” I said, my face still a little hot.
“Sure. No problem. I’m happy to have… helped,” Coach said, scrubbing a hand over his stubbled face.
I started to walk away when Coach called out to me.
“Hold on, Luke! Listen, about this stuff with Sammy. Sometimes, you have to own up to your mistakes. Even if you aren’t 100% at fault. It takes strength and integrity to apologize for your actions. You can’t get forgiveness without asking for it.”
Woah. See this is why I can always count on Coach. He somehow always knows what to say.
I nodded in thanks. Coach was right. I needed to own my shit and stop running from the truth. I had to apologize to the people I had hurt. And I knew where to start.
***
Alright Luke you can do this. Don’t be a pussy.
I took a deep breath and walked up to the table in the study room. The only person sitting there was a skinny nerd with rust colored hair, his face buried in his camera.
“Hey, uh, Mark? Can I sit here?”
I hadn’t spoken to him since we… did stuff in the locker room. No, face this shit head on. We hooked up in the locker room. And then I froze him out completely; acted like he didn’t even exist. I was ashamed, I know that now.
He shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to look up from his camera. I took a seat across from him while he fiddled around.
“So…” I didn’t really know what to say. I’ve never been good at apologies. I guess I’ve never had to make apologies before, which probably says a lot about me, come to think of it.
Mark looked up from his camera, studying me. I expected him to be angry, but instead he just looked defeated. I could tell by the caution in his eyes that I had hurt him. Really badly.
“Mark… I’ve been such an asshole to you. I’m sorry.”
Mark just sat there, not saying anything.
“I basically jumped on your dick and rode you like an animal.” I felt my face get hot, the shame creeping up on me.
Mark waited a few moments, the tension in the air thick… then his shoulders relaxed and he stopped staring me down.
Finally, he broke his silence. “Are you kidding me? That was like my biggest fantasy come to life. I mean, getting jumped by a hot jock like you in the locker room? You have no idea how many times I’ve jerked off to that.”
I was pretty stunned. I mean, he was really into it while it was happening, so it wasn’t like I had forced him. But something about losing control like that…
“Uh, well, good to know I guess? But I still ignored you and pretended like it never happened afterwards.”
“I appreciate the apology, Luke. I mean, I didn’t expect it, so it’s nice to hear. Actually, I’ve had a crush on you for a while. I lost my virginity to the guy I’ve been crushing on, and then he completely ignores me and makes me feel like I had imagined everything. I felt like I was going crazy, like it was my fault…” Mark trailed off, the hurt in his voice pretty clear to me.
“No way! It’s not your fault, dude. I’m just such a mess. I get so crazy sometimes, and I just need dick, I lose control… and I was embarrassed about it. I’m supposed to be Luke fuckin’ Micucci, not some insane… dick fiend.”
Mark suddenly got serious. “There’s nothing wrong with liking dick, Luke. You know that, right?”
I fidgeted. “I know, I’m not some kind of homophobe, man, it’s just… It’s cool if it’s other people, but it’s not me. Or how I’m supposed to be.” Fuck, talking about feelings was hard.
“Who told you that you had to be a certain way? Was it your parents, your coach, your teammates?”
Marks’ words hit me across the face. Who did tell me I had to be a certain way, that I couldn’t like getting fucked? I’m pretty sure my mom would be fine no matter what, she’s always had my back. And same for Coach. But my bros…
“I don’t know man. It’s not… normal, right? The guys, they expect me to be this big baseball jock stud. That’s what I’m supposed to be, right?”
“Don’t you think you’re supposed to live your life the way you want to? Just be yourself? Not force ourselves to fit into a role imposed by other people.”
Damn, Mark hitting me with the logic like a slap to the face. What he was saying did make sense.
“All I’m saying is, you like to get fucked. And based on how you acted, well, it’s more like you need to get fucked, right?”
It was my turn to get embarrassed. “Yeah, you have no idea…” I said with a wry chuckle.
“Then if that’s what you need, you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I’m not ashamed of being gay. People can be assholes, but I’d rather be true to myself than pretend.”
Was Mark right? I guess considering it’s a medical issue, I shouldn’t be ashamed. But even if it wasn’t, if I just liked getting fucked because it felt good, that’s not a bad thing either, right?
“I probably already know the answer, but I gotta ask… Are you into me?”
Oh man. Mark’s a great guy, no doubt, and he deserves an award for that monster cock. I had to admit, he looked really cute. With his curly red hair, glasses, freckles. He totally had that y nerd thing going for him. Before I was just too focused on my own shit to notice, I guess. But I couldn’t imagine dating him. I couldn’t imagine dating anyone except…
“Yeah, I figured. There’s someone else isn’t there?”
Man, Mark saw right through me. He’s weirdly perceptive for such a shy, nervous guy.
“Yeah but… I fucked things up. Really badly. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me.”
“Is it Sammy Ahmadi?”
My head snapped up and I stared at Mark with wide eyes.
“Relax. I’m the school photographer, remember? I basically know everyone.”
I relaxed a little bit. I could trust Mark. After all, he never blabbed to anyone about us messing around.
“Luke… you just apologized to me. And I forgave you, even though I barely know you. How long have you known Sammy?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. I know exactly when Sammy and I met, because ever since then my life has been so much better because of him.
“Since we were 9.”
“Right, and you think that a 9 year old friendship will just go up in flames because of something you did? I imagine you probably did something similar to him that you did to me.”
“No… it was much worse.”
“Okay, even then. You know Sammy is really popular right? And it’s not because he’s a good pitcher, or because he’s smart. It’s because he’s friends with everyone. I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who would hold a grudge. For how long you’ve known him, do you really think he wouldn’t forgive you?”
I thought about it. I know more than anyone that Sammy is stubborn as fuck. But he’s also the kind of guy that would tell off the team for bullying a guy like Mark. The kind of guy that is caring and kind to everyone. Of course he could forgive me… if I made things right, somehow.
“Maybe he would but… I don’t think so”
Mark let out a deep sigh. “Alright let me show you something,” he handed me his camera, and I looked down at the little screen.
“When did you…?”
It was a picture of me and Sammy, sitting beside each other in the dugout. I was laughing and Sammy had the biggest smile on his face, like he was practically glowing. And he was looking at me. Looking at me like nothing else mattered in the world. That I was like the center of his universe. He looked totally and completely… in love.
I felt some wetness in the corner of my eyes. Alpha jocks aren’t supposed to cry. But I’m not an alpha jock, am I? It was just a lie I told myself because I couldn’t face the truth.
“Apologize to him, Luke. I know you can. If he’s a true friend, he’ll stick by you if you’re honest with him.”
“Thanks for your help Mark. I’m sorry again for how I treated you. You’re a great guy, and I know you’ll find someone eventually.”
He was right. I had to own up to my shit. And I had to trust that my bros would have my back. It was time to come clean and stop running from my problems.
***
“Are you sure you want to do this, Luke?” Coach asked, concerned.
“Yeah Coach, I got this. I know my bros have my back, I just gotta come clean.”
“And you don’t want me here?” Coach said cautiously.
“I think I gotta tell them, bro to bro, what’s been up. But if I need you I’ll let you know.”
Coach looked at me, I could tell he was proud. For once I was taking charge of my life. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Coach and Mark’s encouragement.
“Alright Luke. I trust you, good luck” Coach said as he opened the door to the team meeting room.
One by one the team filed in, taking their seats on the benches in front of Coach’s desk at the front of the room. The guys were whispering and murmuring to each other, looking around. Now that the season was over, it didn’t make much sense for us to meet like this. They knew something was up.
I looked around the room, hoping to spot that perfectly styled, dark brown hair, those deep brown eyes… but Sammy wasn’t there. I had even asked Coach to invite him. I guess he wasn’t willing to hear me out yet… I tried to not let it get me, I needed to focus on what I could do now. Worry about Sammy later.
“Alright, listen up!” Coach said, his booming voice quieting all the guys, “Luke here has something important to talk to you about. Be respectful. I’m gonna give you guys some privacy at Luke’s request. Don’t make me regret it.”
Coach finished his warning and then left the room. The sound of the door closing was the only sound in the room for several seconds. The air was awkward. With Coach and Mark’s help, I had prepared what I wanted to say. It was now or never.
“First of all, bros, I wanna apologize for not having my head in the game. I know I cost us the championship, and that was shitty of me.”
“Come on, man,” Devin interrupted, “you know we aren’t mad about that, right?” The rest of the guys agreed, nodding their heads.
“I appreciate that bros. But the truth is, something has been going on with me. Making me act weird. I wanted to explain myself, own up to my shit.”
“A few days ago, Coach took me to a doctor. A specialist. I got diagnosed with this crazy disease. It honestly sounds insane…”
“Woah, what disease? Are you dying?” Ryan asked, concerned.
“It’s called Jock Pu” I stopped myself mid word. The truth is it doesn’t really have a name, just Carson’s Syndrome I guess. But in my head I’d been calling it Jock Syndrome.
“Uh, I mean. Nah bro. It’s not like that. I’m not dying, I just got… well it’s easier if I start from the beginning.”
“Maybe you noticed, but my ass got a lot bigger a few months ago.”
“How could we not? The Micucci cakes are legendary!!” The whole room started chuckling.
“Yeah well, I got in some deep shit. I know I’ve always had a dumptruck. But literally overnight, I couldn’t fit into any of my underwear or pants anymore.”
“Oh yeah, you started wearing those slutty blue shorts! I mean, we weren’t complaining,” Leo said, the room laughing again.
“Yeah, well, it was shitty and inconvenient. Especially cuz it kept growing. It was insane, it was like each morning I woke up and my ass was an inch bigger. And I couldn’t figure out why.
“But it didn’t stop there. All of a sudden, my, uh, my hole. You know, my ass, started getting this weird feeling. Like a tingly, twitchy feeling. Like… it was hungry or something.”
My bros started whispering, looking at each other, clearly shocked.
“And then well… my hole started to, I guess get wet, is the best way to put it. I don’t know how, the doctor I talked to said some shit about your body naturally producing lubricant, but my ass just produces a lot more of it than normal. It’s clear and kinda like pussy juice.”
“And well, my hole was getting wet, and itchy, and it was driving me insane. I was soaking through all my shorts, and my hole made me go insane. I would get these like, twitches, or sudden intense pains. That’s why I whiffed the championship game. It fucked up my concentration.
“Bro, are you serious?” One of my bros asked in total disbelief.
“I am. And I was losing my mind. I would touch it, you know, rub it a little bit, or put my fingers inside it. And it would feel better for a little bit, but nothing would make it stop. Until, I figured out how.
“When I saw the Doc, he explained that, well, the best way to make it stop, the itching and wetness, is to… well, massage the inside. With a dick. And then that dick cums and the jizz acts like a medicine or something.”
“Wait, wait,” Darren interrupted, “You’re saying that your ass grew overnight, your hole started to get hungry and wet like a pussy, and the only way to make it stop is to get fucked and filled with cum?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s the simplest way to put it.”
The guys all looked pretty confused. A few of them were murmuring to each other. I get it. It sounds pretty hard to believe. But it’s true, I just needed to prove it to them.
“Come on, Luke,” Leo spoke up, always the first one to. “Do you really expect us to believe that? That your asshole gets wet and the only thing to make it stop is cum? That’s ridiculous dude!”
I squeezed my fists. I get how crazy it sounds, but they’re supposed to be my bros, right? They should be there for me, not treating me like a nutcase.
“Come on, man…” Devin said, putting his hand on Leo’s forearm to try and calm him down.
“No! I’m not gonna play into Luke’s crazy delusion just because he’s too scared to admit he’s gay!”
My brain fried for a second. I remembered Sammy saying almost the exact same thing. At the time, I freaked the fuck out. But could it be true? Still, I hated that they were just dismissing me, they weren’t even listening to my problems!
“Fuck you, man! It IS real!”
“Oh yeah, then prove it, Micucci!”
“You little shit!” For once, I was done taking Leo’s bullshit.
Devin raised his hand. “Luke, we don’t really get this. How is that even biologically possible? Like, why would cum even provide relief?”
Devin was our rookie, but easily the smartest guy on the team, besides Sammy, it was natural that he would want to understand it.
“Alright, bros,” I said, “how about I just show you?”
It was kind of weird, but since I got in the room with all the guys, my hole HAS been getting kind of moist. Dr. Carson had said big dicks can be a trigger, and I know a few guys on the team are seriously packing from what I’ve seen in the showers. Especially Darnell and Ikes.
Alright, it was now or never. Time to not pussy out. Own it.
A part of me still hesitated. After all, I was about to show all my bros my asshole. That’s pretty weird right? But this whole damn thing has been weird, and maybe I just gotta roll with it. What’s the worst that could happen?
I turned around, which instantly shut all the guys up. Looking over my shoulder, some of them had their mouths hanging open. I get that it’s big, but it’s still an asshole? Not anything new.
I hooked my thumbs into my waistband and tried my hardest to pull them down over my huge bubble. It was a relief to finally step out of them all the underwear and shorts I wore nowadays was like keeping my thick ass inside a prison, it was just bursting to get out. The cool air hit my cheeks and my cheeks jiggled a little now that they were free.
I heard a few gasps and some strangled choking sounds from behind me. What, the guys had seen my ass tons already in the locker room. Probably the first time they’ve seen my asshole, though.
ero
