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Harnesses with glass dildos in the middle
Clitoris suckers and piercings in nipples
Fooling around in the shower and steam
These are a few of my favorite things
GIFT GIVERS;
OR,
THE CHRISTMASTIME MISADVENTURES OF HOPE MONROE AND YOOJIN AHN
~
“Shit!”
Hope tripped and nearly feel over something in the dark of the bedroom.
The ancient bedside clock radio showed 7:04, but it was late in the year, and the sun had been down for some time. There wasn’t much to light the room but streaks of moonlight through the chipped slats of the Venetian blinds.
The object of her neardemise looked up at her and mewed innocently. His eyes gleamed in the faint light.
“Yeah, I’m gonna say that was your bad, Fred,” Hope said.
Freddie was black from tip to tail, and was all but invisible in the dark room. He wandered off somewhere, sauntering as if he’d accomplished some mission.
Hope took off the slacks, shirt, and vestYoo liked to call it “the uniform”then the olive green sports bra and navy blue boxerbriefs that both looked slate gray in the dark.
She collected the clothes into a ball against her large, heavy breast. She stumbled naked into the master bathroom. She turned the light on, briefly hissed and shielded her eyes with one pale arm, then laughed.
“I’m a vampire,” she joked to herself, sounding only vaguely like the scene from the Nicolas Cage movie.
She reached into the shower and turned on the water. It was taking its time getting hot. She crossed past the vanity, automatically avoiding the mirror, tossed her clothes onto the clothespile behind it, then went back to the shower and stood outside the crooked glass door and waited.
Yoo had never explained why she called it “the uniform,” but she didn’t have to. Fat women who wanted to look masculine and cute at the same time didn’t have a lot of options. It was either the threepiece look or a tshirt and overalls, and only the former was workappropriate.
She washed up quickly. She used too much shampoo, the common mistake of people unused to having short hair. She wiped up some of it with her hand and used it on her crotch, which was diapered with untamed pubic hair. When she was done, she toweled off. She got a fresh black sports bra and high waisted bike shorts out of a hamper of clean clothes she hadn’t quite gotten around to putting away.
Freddie’s eyes glowed up at her from the doorway. “I’m just going to lie down a while before your mama comes home,” Hope told him as she struggled to pull the underwear on over her damp skin.
Then the clock radio read 11:27, and Hope was sprawled face down atop the covers, knee up, arms splayed, snoring softly, moonlight playing back and forth in long parallel lines as the broad hump of her back rose and fell.
Something cool, hard, and smooth touched her halfopen mouth. It gathered the delicate pearl of drool that had welled up in the corner and wiped a slow, shining tracery of it down her chin, the fat of her neck, her generous cleavage.
Then it brushed her lowslung nipple through the microfiber fabric of the bra, and Hope’s eyes fluttered open.
Immediately in front of her, she saw a flat, smooth belly, flanked with tattoos, jewel in the navel, and above that, two stainless steam barbells that shined in the dark against draperies of long black hair and areolas the color of warm umber.
Below that, a clear glass dildo, nubbed all across the shaft, held in place against an immaculately shaved pubis by a black polyurethane triangle and nylon straps that, even in the dim light, looked beaten and frayed.
Yoo looked down at her sleepy girlfriend, eyes in shadow, and whispered voicelessly.
“Don’t say anything.”
Soon, Hope was naked, face down with her ass in the air, and Yoo was gripping her in the folds of her waistline and her from behind in expert, rotely practiced strokes that clapped their bodies and sent ripples up Hope’s wide hips.
Hope’s arms were underneath her body, and into the pillow of her pubic hair she held a clit sucker that whirred and puffed against her wet flesh. She was already on her way to a quick, reliable orgasm.
The two women grunted and gasped in near perfect unison, joined in rhythm by the slippery, unyielding hard thing that made Yoo feel such power and made Hope feel so full. After a while, Yoo slowed to a stop. She was breathing heavily.
“Need a break?” she asked, almost more for herself than for Hope.
Hope nodded and “mmhmmed” through the squish of her face against the mattress. She clicked off the clit sucker. Yoo carefully pulled the dildo out. The air was heavy with body smells.
Yoo got up, got her metal waterbottle from the bedside table, took a long, indulgent chug of cold water, then passed it to Hope, who was on her side, propped up on an elbow. Hope drank gratefully while Yoo wiped down and reapplied the lube to her ersatz penis.
Hope got on her back, her knees up, thighs apart. Yoo hoisted Hope’s round calves with her forearms. The dildo went in easily. Yoo pushed in until her lean hips touched Hope’s soft ass.
Hope sighed, grateful and overcome with fullness once again. She reached down and touched the clit sucker to herself and clicked the button, once, then twice. It stayed quiet.
“Oh no,” she said.
Yoo paused. “What happened?”
Hope clicked it again. Nothing happened. “It stopped working.”
“Let me see it.”
Hope handed it up to Yoo and Yoo tried it. Again, it didn’t work. She turned it over, examining it.
“The battery’s dead,” Yoo said.
Hope said, “But I had it on the charger all night.”
“Hang on.”
Once again, Yoo withdrew carefully, though not so carefully as before. One of the nylon straps on her harness, the left one that hugged the underside of her tiny buttcheek, was suddenly dangling on her thigh.
“Shit,” Yoo muttered.
She passed the clit sucker back to Hope and tried to retighten the strap. Meanwhile, Hope crawled to the bedside table and felt around behind it for the clit sucker’s weird proprietary charging cable, which was still plugged into the wall.
Hope connected the toy to the charger. The usual blinking light didn’t come on. “Nothing’s happening.”
Yoo crawled over as well, the dick swinging awkwardly beneath her. Hope clicked on the tabletop lamp and they inspected the cable together. The jacket was worn through near the connector. The strands of bare wire had begun to to fray.
“Fuck,” Hope hissed under her breath.
“Can you use your hand?”
“I guess.”
They resumed their positions. Yoo pushed the dildo against Hope’s sodden vulva, but she felt resistance and stopped there. Hope looked as though she were suddenly embarrassed, lying there with her knees apart.
Yoo parked the dickhead in the slick spot between Hope’s labia. “Okay. In slowly.”
Hope breathed in deep, her large breasts and belly rising into the air. Yoo hugged one of Hope’s thighs and gripped the dildo with her other hand, pressing gently against the muscular opening.
Yoo breathed with her. “Out. And relax.”
Hope let the breath come rushing out, and her labia spread easily around the glass dickhead as Yoo slid it inside her, with millimeter slowness, up to the crown. There, Yoo waited, watching Hope.
“We good?” Yoo asked.
Hope nodded, though she said nothing. Gripping both thighs, Yoo pushed it in up to the hilt. Again, she held there, and waited for Hope’s reaction. It was getting difficult to tell if she was still into it.
Yoo tried to encourage her. “Play with yourself for me, baby.”
Hope jilled her erect clitoris with two fingers. As ambivalent as she was acting, she was still wet, and her pussy made slick, sticky noises. Her hand was awkward and uncoordinated; it had plainly been too long since the last time she’d tried to do this without technological assistance.
As Hope was finding her rhythm, Yoo started her again, slowly and carefully. Hope’s inner walls were gripping the shaft of the dick tightly enough to be a worry.
Suddenly, Yoo hissed, “Fuck!”
Hope paused. “What?” She sounded annoyed.
The strap had come loose again. Yoo grabbed one of the loose ends and found it sheared off completely. The triangular plate hung away from her bald pubis at an odd angle; the dildo remained partway inside Hope.
“God damn it,” Yoo groaned.
“What do we do?” Hope said.
“Do you feel like doing it the old fashioned way?”
“Not really, no.”
“Fuck.”
Yoo carefully removed the dildo. The scent it released, of lube and freshly fucked pussy, was getting to be less of a turnon each time.
Yoo disengaged it from the tattered harness and stashed it in a microfiber drawstring bag next to the bed. Hope sat her dead clit sucker down on the bedside table.
Hope got up to her knees. “I’m gonna get cleaned up.”
“Want company?” Yoo asked, aware even as she said it that it was a transparent attempt to keep the y atmosphere from fading.
“I guess,” Hope grumbled for the second time.
Yoo started the shower and waited for the frosted glass booth to steam up.
Hope said, “You get in without me. I need to pee.”
Yoo paused in front of the shower with one leg in and her hand on the door. “I can hang back in case you need help.”
“No thanks.”
“Are you sure? I just want everything to come out alright.”
Hope laughed. “Ew, gross!”
Yoo got in the shower and closed the door. She could still more or less see Hope through the steamy glass, the big pale shape of her leant forward on the toilet, doing her best to take a silent piss.
Then Hope got up and closed the seat of the toilet. Yoo turned and pretended she hadn’t been watching the whole time. She focused on the warm water hitting her thick, dark hair, enjoying the steamy patter on her tense scalp.
Soon, Hope squeezed into the tiny stall next to Yoo and closed the rickety door behind her. It took a few tries.
They each gave themselves a onceover with exfoliating sponges and body wash. Then they took turns washing one other, mostly for play, lingering in sensitive places. Yoo was by far the grabbier of the two.
They stayed a while, eventually just killing time and wasting water. Yoo turned the spray off and got out first. She grabbed two towels and passed one to Hope.
As they toweled themselves off, they heard a dull bang come from downstairs, probably the kitchen.
Yoo said, “Should we?”
Hope said, “It can wait ’til morning.”
“He’s a little shit.”
“Yeah.”
Later, they were in bed. It was dark; the moon no longer shined directly through their window. Yoo was atop the covers on her side, facing away from Hope, wearing grey boxer briefs and nothing else. She seemed asleep. Hope was on her side, facing away from Yoo, back in her sports bra and under the blankets up to her chest.
Hope was on her phone, doing her best to hide the light of it with her body. She’d pulled up the website for their local shop. Despite the prominently advertised holiday sale, the harnessed were all expensive.
She opened her banking app. What little money she had in her account couldn’t have bought even one of the cheaper ones. She reopened the shop tab and gave it one more look before putting the phone down and plunging the room into darkness completely.
Hope Monroe, 43, had waited until she was married to a man to realize that she was a , then waited another 12 years just to be sure. Yoojin Ahn, 32, had gone through a threesome phase in her 20s. She ended up dumping her boyfriend for one of their female fuckbuddies, who, as it turned out, wasn’t interested.
Hope and Yoo first met at a party at a mutual friend’s house. Hope had been looking for monogamous romance, which was all she’d ever known. Yoo had instantly wanted Hope, but only for . After a tumultuous early courtship, Hope got her way. They’d been dating for two years.
~
Hope worked a 9 to 5 administration job at the local community college. Yoo worked a bartending job at a restaurant that typically scheduled her in the evening. On paper, Yoo’s shifts ended at 10, but closing duties would keep her there to one degree of lateness or another. Yoo would still be asleep when Hope got up for the day.
That morning, the Friday before the week of Christmas, Hope made a plan. Alone in the kitchen, at their tiny breakfast table, she turned on her tablet and pulled up the URL to one of the less savory adult websites on the Internet. Someplace Yoo had shown her, early in their relationship, without ever imagining that she’d remember.
She signed up under a carefully genderless username. It was an oldstyle web forum, imaginatively called “Adult Resale Store,” dedicated to the buying and selling of objects that had been on or in the most private places of a woman’s body.
Before she could change her mind, she bashed out an ad for her nowuseless clit sucker, for $100 or best offer. She had her doubts. But, within five minutes, she received a private message from username “pussypounder420.”
“hey”
Hope rolled her eyes, copied the text from her original post, and pasted it into her response.
She received a message back: “ill give u 200 for it”
Her eyebrows went to her hairline. Despite silently shouting at herself to just take the deal, she couldn’t help it.
She wrote, “If $200 is what it’s worth to you…”
Soon, she received back, “yup. stick with me. fuck those other guys”
There hadn’t been any other offers. She shrugged and typed her agreement.
The terms were simple: he would pay up front, she would send the clit sucker that day, and she would not wash it first. Within a minute, her checking account balance had gone up by $200. Enough to buy the most expensive harness for Yoo, with plenty to spare.
The correspondence ended with pussypounder420 offering to send another $200 in exchange for a video of her using the clit sucker on herself. Hope scoffed and logged out. She glanced down at Freddie, who was busying himself with a tiny tumbleweed made of dust and his own hair.
“I guess my genderless username wasn’t quite genderless enough,” she whispered to him.
She fished a small cardboard box out of the recycling bin. (It had previously contained an assortment of carabiners.) She boxed up the clit sucker, scrawled out a label on a piece of scrap paper, and taped it all together. She stashed the box under the passenger seat in her station wagon and went to work.
The day felt peculiar, as it always did when the holidays approached. It was as if the entire staff had one foot out the door. Monday would be December 23rd, the last work day before Christmas break. How many of them would even bother to show up?
Hope got out late, but made it to the parcel store with time to spare. She fidgeted nervously as she waited in the long line, as if the clit sucker would suddenly come back to life in the little box in her hand for all to hear.
Once the clit sucker had been scanned and sent on its way, she hurried to the shop.
When she walked in, she was immediately descended upon by the clerk, a tall, slender girl in all black with multiple belts and big paintedon Kill La Kill eyebrows.
“Can I help you find anything?” the girl said. She sounded like Geena Davis.
“No thanks, just browsing,” Hope said automatically, trying not to stammer. It was so much easier to come to places like this with Yoo. By herself, she still felt intimidated.
She took some time to eye the various serpentine dildos along the far wall, just to make the most of the trip. Most of them were so ostentatiously large that she winced just looking at them. When she felt she’d browsed enough, she tracked down the most expensive harness they carried.
“Ooh, that’s going to look so good on you,” the clerk said as Hope approached the register with the box in her hands.
“Thanks. It’s for my partner, actually,” Hope said, setting it down on the counter.
“Of course,” the clerk said with a smile.
The clerk gave her the usual rap about how to clean toys, which materials worked with which lubes, the importance of making sure everything was bodysafe. Hope thanked her, paid, and left.
In the parking lot, Hope thought about the awkwardly worded compliment. It made it seem almost as if the clerk were propositioning her. (In fact, she had been.) Hope drove home, fed Freddie, and didn’t even wait to change clothes before wrapping Yoo’s present and stashing it under the tree.
~
All evening, Hope’s nerves buzzed with excitement. She loved giving gifts, but she’d never been good at keeping secrets. It was a bad combination of personality traits.
She was in her pajamasher customary sports bra and bike shortsbut still wide awake when Yoo shambled her way through the front door. It was past midnight. Yoo looked exhausted as she shrugged her way out of her slowly decaying denim jacket.
Yoo barely had time to notice that Hope was still up and waiting for her in the living room before everything came out.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” Hope said. “I was going to make dinner and leave some for you. But the kitchen was a mess, and I promise I’ll get caught up on it tomorrow, and I thought about ordering Korean food, but I know you hate the Korean food here, so I ordered Thai food instead and got the extra hot for you, and also I got you a new strapon harness for Christmas and it’s in the box under the tree in the Snoopy wrapping paper.”
Yoo stared at her for a second, looking as though she were mentally scrolling through multiple reactions without a clear choice.
“Also, you look really cute,” Hope added.
Yoo blushed. She was wearing dark leggings that made the most of her slim legs and tiny ass, and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and fabric that looked shrinkwrapped over her nipple jewelry. All the better to garner those generous lastminute holiday tips.
After some silence, Yoo said, “Thai food, huh?”
“Yeah,” Hope said.
“Guess that means no anal tomorrow.”
“Or… you know.”
“What?”
“No oral tonight.” Hope almost whispered, as if it would get her into trouble. Yoo looked amused. Two years as a certified carpet muncher and Hope still had a hard time with even the most Grated vocabulary.
Hope heated up the takeout container of pad thai in the microwave while Yoo took her seat at the table.
“Just out of curiosity,” Yoo asked, “how did you afford a new harness? It doesn’t seem like it would fit the gift budget we agreed on.”
“I, uh…” Hope said. Yoo was giving her the strangest look.
“Sit,” Yoo said.
Hope sat across from Yoo at the table. Yoo took her by the hand. Yoo’s hands were small, deceptively strong, but capable of incredible gentleness. Her touch always felt electric to Hope.
It was Yoo’s turn to spill.
“Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to get up, because it looked like you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you. But god, I was still so horny, and our night together was such a bust. I guess I decided to deal with the ual frustration with a little retail therapy. I was on the Internet for like an hour, trying to find a replacement cable for your clit sucker.”
“They’re too expensive,” Hope said. “I looked.”
Yoo nodded. “So I found a guy onlinesome pervertwho would be willing to pay money for something… intimate. Something I had no use for anymore.”
Hope gasped. “Yoo!”
Yoo looked pained. “I know, I’m sorry, but I sold our dildo and went out and bought a new charging cable. With the broken harness, I figured it was okay. I was going to wrap it tonight and put it under the tree. I didn’t realize you’d be up when I got home.”
Hope just laughed, lifted Yoo’s hand, and nuzzled her knuckles.
“What’s funny?” Yoo said.
“I had the money for the new harness because I sold the clit sucker,” Hope said. “One of those seedy sites you showed me back in the day, with the forum full of perverts and the badly lit porn you like so much.”
ero
