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It’s no secret to the denizens of the Becoming Monsters Discord, but all of the various amazing things Gloria cooks? Yeah, that’s all real. My wife just cooks like that. She has agreed to share some few of her recipes here, so you can all know what goes into them.
One note, though. This Author’s household deals with a lot of food sensitivities, and keeps Kosher besides. Jay’s… doesn’t, and isn’t. We will note alterations we make for our home, and what Gloria would replace them with. All of these work, and work well, with glutenfree, dairyfree, and kosher equivalent ingredients. We know it because that’s how we tested them.
This is still a of the Becoming Monsters Universe by Ai Loves, setting used with permission.
Chapter 39: Gloria’s Cookbook (Bonus 2)
My mother used to teach me that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Lucy says I’m aiming about nine inches too high, but it has worked out for me. At least recently.
My name is Gloria SantosCruces, and like many Gluttony demons I’ve had to figure out how to cook, and cook well. While I can certainly handle anything, including the plate it comes on, I prefer to enjoy it. Now that I am on the team, they seem to appreciate my hobby almost as much as my traps. I don’t mind. Only one of the two generally involves threats to my life, after all, and it isn’t when I’m searing steaks.
Below are a selection of family favorites; the recipes I keep in mind when someone’s feeling down among Shield’s members for whatever reason. If ever I’m the one unconscious, I dearly hope they’re as good at following my directions as we are at following Jay’s.
Most of these recipes are meant to feed 34 people on a normal day. Given that I’m feeding eight Demonics who hunt monsters most days, not to mention my own Hunger, I usually quadruple these numbers.
Safety note: make sure all foods are fully cooked before consumption. I know we can’t afford to get sick because we got impatient, and I’m sure you can’t either. All temperatures are in Fahrenheit unless otherwise noted, in case I forget to specify.
For my Metric readers (including you, Sarah and Paige):
Tsp = Teaspoon, or ~5 mL
Tbsp = Tablespoon, or ~15 mL
C = cup, or ~240 mL
P = pint, or ~475 mL
Oz = ounce, or ~30 grams
Lb = pound, or ~450 grams
Some rapid temperature conversions in case I forget:
350 F = 175 C
375 F = 190 C
425 F = 220 C
Baked Macaroni and Cheese
(Jeremiah’s Favorite)
If anything says the kind of person Jay is, it is this. He likes his steaks, he likes his fancy French tastes, but he LOVES this childhood classic. Really takes you back. Back to before we had to worry about all of this. I like to serve it up when he remembers to take it easy(ish) for a day, encourages him to keep doing it.
16oz [500 g] cheese, shredded. Yes, with a grater, it comes out way better. Cheddar is standard, we also like to mix it with Pepper Jack.
1218 oz [350-500 g] dry macaroni or rotini pasta
1 optional small onion, diced. Because Paige isn’t the only one with some pride, you know?
1 stick +2 Tbsp [140g] butter or substitute
46 cups [950-1400g] Whole milk (or substitute)
1 cup [125 g] Flour
Ground Pepper
1 Tbsp [4 medium cloves] Minced Garlic, optional (hah)
8 oz [250 g] protein of choice (such as ham, bacon, pepperoni, turkey, or duck), chopped or sliced into small chunks. Some prefer up to a full pound, [450 g] here.
Preheat oven to 375 °F / 190 °C. Bring a large pot of water to boil for pasta.If you are adding onion, put 2 Tbsp [30 g] butter in medium saucepan and caramelize them now to preferred softness on medium heat.Grate or shred your cheese. Set aside a quarter of it for later.Once your water is boiling, cook your pasta according to package directions. Drain and return to the pot once done, but not on heat. Set aside.Add garlic to the onions, and cook until fragrant.Add the remaining butter, melt, and turn heat to MediumLow.Add flour until butter is no longer runny but fully absorbed, in 1/4 cup [30 g] increments. Should use 3/41 cup [90 g] of flour here give or take.SLOWLY add the milk, 1/2 cup to 1 cup [120-240 ml] at a time, whisking until a uniform consistency before next addition. About halfway through this, add the black pepper, plus any other seasonings you like. For extra richness, you can substitute some or all of the milk with cream or halfandhalf. If your protein of choice needs to be cooked (such as if you have completely raw ham or duck), do so at this time in another pan.Add 3/4 of the cheese, stirring throughout. You’ll want to stir with a nonslotted spoon. Keep stirring constantly until the cheese is melted and your consistency is smooth. This will take a while, especially if you are using a dairyfree alternative. Taste once incorporated, add seasonings if needed. Go easy on the salt, though, the recommended meats will add a lot. If the sauce gets too thick, add SMALL amounts of milk to thin. Depending on how long your cheese takes to melt, the small amounts of extra milk add up fast.Add your meat to the pasta, mix it in, then pour sauce over this. Don’t be afraid if you don’t use quite all of your sauce, you want it covered well, not drowning.Transfer to a 9 x 13 [23cm x 33cm] greased baking dish, top with the rest of the cheese, and bake until the cheese is melted or slightly browning (~1015 minutes). This last bake is TECHNICALLY optional if you’re really impatient. Again, dairyfree alternatives will take longer to melt.Serve hot. Leftover sauce goes great on… basically anything cheese is good on.
Sausage, Potato, and Kale Soup
(Lucy’s Favorite)
For someone who has lived in Seattle as long as she has, and who throws fire around daily, you would think Lucy could handle the cold better. Alas, not quite. As a result, when I make this warm and fortifying soup, the hard part is peeling her off of the pot to serve everyone else.
2 onions, chopped
4 medium potatoes, cut to small or medium cubes
12 Tbsp [15-30 ml] Canola Oil
1 Tbsp [4 medium cloves] garlic, minced or crushed
8 links of chicken sausage, sliced (any sausage of preference will work, including equivalent amounts of caseless, but we use chicken)
1 qt [just under 1 liter] vegetable broth (or bouillon/consommé replacement)
1/2 Pint [250 ml] Heavy Cream
1 bunch curly kale, washed THOROUGHLY and either torn or chopped
In the pot, saute the onions in the oil until soft. Add the garlic, stir, and let sit until fragrant (12 minutes)Add sliced sausage and stir occasionally until cooked.Add in potatoes, vegetable broth, and kale. Stir well to combine.
Note: this will take a lot of the texture out of the kale, which my bunch prefer. If you want to keep it, add the kale at the end, instead.
If using a pressure cooker, bring to High pressure, cook for 9 minutes, natural release for 20 minutes, then quick release. If in a standard pot, simmer for ~4560 minutes.Bring back to boil (use saute setting if in a pressure cooker), add the kale now, if you’re doing it at the end. Reduce to Low heat, add cream, stir well, then serve.
Sweet Potato Biscuits
(Whitney’s Favorite)
I know Whitney tries to keep us eating right, and I do my best to help her. Thing is? She might have been born in Southern California, but her family’s roots are in Delaware. When the chips are down and our pillar of strength feels like she’s cracking, these will keep her wings beating and her spirits flying with them. As indulgences go, this isn’t the most dietdestroying one out there… until you eat nine or ten, which literally everyone at our table has been known to do.
2 cups warm mashed sweet potatoes (3 medium(ish) sweet potatoes premashed)
1/2 cup [125g] butter, or dairyfree alternative
1/2 cup [100g] sugar
1 tsp [6g] table salt
2 cups flour
5 tsp baking powder
Preheat oven to 425 °F / 220 °C.Thoroughly mix together sweet potatoes, butter, and sugarSift together flour, salt, and baking soda, then add to sweet potato mix.Knead until smooth on floured surfacePat or roll to 1/2 inch thickness, then cut with a floured cutter.Bake for 1215 minutes. Be careful not to overbake.
Fruit Pancakes
(Sarah’s Favorite)
Including this feels like it’s cheating, but Sarah’s a breakfast food fanatic. Odd, for someone who dislikes coffee, but this is not exactly the strangest thing about our Canadian Enchanter. Without the added fruits, this is the quick and easy breakfast of choice around the house. With them, and you can serve them up any time of day or night to make a very happy family.
1 cup flour
2 tsp baking powder. Aluminumfree is preferred
2 Tbsp sugar or substitute.
2 Tbsp canola oil
2 eggs
1 cup milk or milk alternative
Diced or chopped Fruits of choice, and/or chocolate. We use strawberries, blueberries, and chocolate chips for ours. Quantity and chop size to taste, but you want to be able to bite them andI tend to go very heavy on them.
Mix ingredients together in this order.If you aren’t using fruits, the batter will work on basically any pan, griddle, or press, including for waffles. With them, you want to use a flat pan or griddle. I like to do them in a castiron pan.A quartercup of batter will make a regularsized pancake. A halfcup will make huge ones, I don’t recommend going over that unless you’re really good at flipping them. Make sure to stir the batter before scooping to get the addins, or they’ll end up all at the bottom.Cook on one side until the bubbles stop moving, then flip and finish off after about half that amount of time. A little more is fine if you like it like that, but finishing it in less time usually won’t work.You can serve with any topping you feel like. Butter, syrup, whipped cream, fruit preserves, and chocolate syrup are our goto options.
Chicken Soup
(Emily’s Favorite)
Yep, in this house, we like soups. Surprising absolutely nobody who knows her even vaguely, our healer loves the healing power of a good chicken soup. I often make it with matzo balls for extra healing power. There is a reason the dish is known as Jewish Penicillin. I do this one in a pressure cooker, but traditional pots are easy enough to adapt to.
4 large chicken legs, WITH BONE. I cannot stress this enough, skin is optional but bone is MANDATORY
4 carrots, chopped
1 1/2 onions, chopped
3 celery stalks, chopped
2 heaping tablespoons consomme of choice
2 bay leaves
2 Tbsp garlic, chopped
Parsley, Basil, Dill, and Oregano to taste (I tend to go light on Dill but use heavy dashes of all three)
46 cups water
Up to 1 Tbsp optional grated horseradish, an inch or so if grated off the root (Emily does not consider this optional)
Mix everything together in a large pot or pressure cooker.If using a pressure cooker, bring to high pressure and cook for 15 minutes before releasing pressure. If in a pot, bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer until chicken is cooked through.Remove chicken, debone and shred, then add back in.Though it can be served at this point, the longer you can let it all simmer together to concentrate and combine, the better.
Curry on Brown Rice
(Gloria’s Favorite)
I’m not quite sure what attracts me so much to Indian cuisine, but eating this feels like the Earth is giving me a hug. The others, thankfully, also love it, so I get away with making it more than I probably should. This variation is vegetarian, but most proteins will work with it (we like to use tofu or shredded chicken). I’ll note what to do with them if you choose to.
1/2 stick butter or substitute
1 large onion, diced
1012 oz peas (frozen works fine)
1 can diced tomatoes (do not drain, we use nosalt)
12 Tbsp tomato paste
1 can coconut milk
23 medium potatoes, chopped to small cubes
2 large carrots, sliced and quartermooned
Curry powder and other spices to taste. I mix my own curry, but store bought is fine (unless you’re making it for me)
23 cups cooked brown rice.
Use a large saucepan or dutch oven. Melt the butter over mediumhigh heat, reduce to medium once you see it start bubblingAdd onions. Let them saute to preferred softness.Add in potatoes, stir, then add carrots.Cook until vegetables soften. If you are using a protein, this is a good chance to get a sear on them in another pan, then make sure they’re cooked through.Add your spices now. Once mixed in thoroughly, add your peas, tomatoes, and tomato paste. Stir together to combine well.Slowly stir in coconut milk. Once fully combined, taste and adjust spices. If you have a protein, add it now.Simmer on MediumLow for about another 25 minutes to finish. Serve over brown rice.
Bulgogi
(Amber’s Favorite)
A traditional Korean favorite, one I enjoy nearly as much as my beloved curry. I’m going to do my best to give decent quantities, but really? I measure this one with my soul. Feel free to adjust literally all of this to taste. Amber prefers the dish with a couple of tweaks, but how you do a Bulgogi is as much a way to identify a cook as their fingerprints.
Although I present this as being on rice, another favorite is serving on soft lettuce or similar as a tacostyle dish, something known as Beef And Leaf. If you do it like this, you want shaved meat and not ground meat.
1/4 cup Soy Sauce, Low Sodium preferred but regular works. We use gluten free.
4oz Apple Juice. You can use pear, too.
1/3 cup Honey
1 inch Fresh Ginger, grated. About a heaped tablespoon dried powder works in a pinch
1 Tbsp Minced Garlic
1/4 cup Brown Sugar
1 tsp sesame oil
Up to 1 tsp Fish Sauce, optional. I use anchovy.
Up to 2 tsp gochujang, optional.
Ground Black Pepper, to taste
1 lb protein of choice. Shaved beef is traditional, but ground beef or turkey works, as do most meat substitutes.
2 cups rice
Optional onions and peppers, chopped small
Optional green onions, chives, and/or sesame seeds for garnish
Mix together the soy sauce, apple juice, honey, brown sugar, ginger, garlic, sesame oil, fish sauce, gochujang and ground black pepper. Whisk together and taste, adjust as needed.For best results, marinate the protein overnight with about half the mix. This is optional, and you probably shouldn’t do this for ground meats. It does make a HUGE difference for shaved or shredded, though.Cook the rice however you prefer. We use a pressure cooker, because by dinner time patience is something we lack.Heat up a large skillet on mediumhigh heat. We use Avocado Oil for this, but you can use whichever you like. Lightly cover the bottom of the skillet.If you’re including onion and/or peppers, go ahead and sauté them now to your preference of softness. Once the meat and sauce are added, they won’t get any softer.If you’re using ground meat, one trick is to add some extra spices to it. Dashes of ginger powder, onion powder, and ground pepper are all good here. Do not add salt though, the marinade has plenty.While doing the above, stir the marinade now and then in its stillseparate cup. Keeps it from settling out.Add your protein. If you’re using shaved beef, you can do it to your preference, but if it is ground meat, then PLEASE make sure it’s done all the way through. What temperature varies by type. Shaved beef will likely have to be separated a bit after marinating, this is normal.Add the marinade now and use it to deglaze the pan. Simmer until it thickens. If it needs help, a little roux with corn starch or arrowroot will do it. Extra sauce in the pan is fine, it soaks into the rice.Serve over rice and add your garnishes. Amber likes sesame seed and sliced green onion, and I agree with her.
Picadillo
(Paige’s Favorite)
Paige is an interesting one, more so than even our group’s admittedlyhigh average, but I have no arguments about what she likes. Picadillo is one of those dishes that every country south of Texas claims, but the version she swears by hails from Cuba. There are a hundred ways to actually serve it once it’s done, ranging from solo to nachos to rice to tortillas to topping with a fried egg (this last is called “a caballo”, or “on horseback”). I haven’t found a presentation yet which she doesn’t attack with vigor.
23 tsp Olive Oil
1 lbs lean ground beef (we frequently use ground turkey or a meat substitute, they work just fine)
1 green pepper, seeded and finely chopped
1 small or medium onion, finely chopped.
1 Tbsp garlic, minced
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
Pinch of cumin powder
1 tsp dried oregano
2 bay leaves (optional)
1 8oz can tomato sauce
3/4 cups white cooking wine, have more ready in case of deglaze
1/4 cup ketchup.
1/4 cup pimientostuffed Spanish olives
1/4 cup raisins
2 Tbsp capers (technically optional. I’m sure Paige would eventually forgive me if I forgot them)
Make sure all of your ingredients are gathered before you start! This is a good idea normally, but it really helps here.Heat a large skillet on MediumHigh. Add the ground beef, and brown. Stir occasionally to make sure it doesn’t burn. Make sure to break it up into small pieces as you go. If your onion and green pepper are not diced yet, this is a good time to do so.Remove the meat and drain excess fat from the pot.Add olive oil, just enough to lightly cover the bottom of the pan. Heat over medium heat.Add green pepper, onion, and garlic. Saute until the onions are translucent (we prefer them very soft). Once they’re close to your preference, add your herbs and spices, stirring to integrate.Deglaze with cooking wine. Return beef to pot, add all remaining ingredients. Mix and bring to a boil.Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 3040 minutes, stirring frequently. This step is optional if you aren’t using Bay Leaves. If it needs more liquid, add a bit more cooking wine. The more time you can give it, the more intense the flavors will be.Remove the bay leaves, and it’s good to go! We usually serve over white rice, with black beans (but I’m not sharing my recipe for THAT, a girl’s gotta have some secrets).
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