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Lily tried really hard not to let her nervous excitement overwhelm her leading up to her date with Alex. She had picked a nice Tapas restaurant, thinking being able to share small plates would add a casual dynamic to the evening. It had been Sarah’s idea, pointing out that a big dinner might add pressure they didn’t need.
When the night came, Lily relaxed herself as much as she could as she got ready. She focused on the thought Alex wanted this as much as she did. As she started her makeup, she thought about the dressshopping experience and decided to keep her look understated. She wasn’t trying to seduce him; this was finding out if their feelings for each other were worth pursuing.
Again, she looked at the dress she had picked and was happy she had followed the advice she’d been given. It made her look good without making it seem like she was going over the top with her effort. Alex had seen her dressed up at the various formal events they attended throughout the year while at College, but recently, he had mostly seen her with a tshirt stained from feeding and playing with the kids or flushed from running around the pub when they had the same shift, if he still found her attractive after he had seen her in those positions, then a dress and simple make up would be a treat for him. Keeping her hair simple, she went for a stylishly messy bun that allowed two tendrils of hair to fall down and frame her face. Satisfied with her look, she put on a light spray of perfume and went downstairs to wait.
“You look pretty, Lily,” Will announced loudly as she entered the kitchen to find the kids eating the last of their dinner.
“Thanks, little man,” Lily replied, patting his head, trying not to laugh as she watched him turn to Mike for approval over his clearly coached compliment.
Lily tried to keep her eye off the clock on the wall and remain engaged with Mike and Sarah as they went about their usual evening routine. It was hopeless as Sarah caught her more than once and did little to hide her smirk. Finally, the doorbell went, and Lily tried to stand up in excitement but felt Sarah’s hand on her shoulder.
“Sit, I’ll bring him through,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to deal with the tantrums that will happen if the kids don’t get to say hi.”
Lily smiled and watched her leave the room. Will’s excitement turned out to be useful as it allowed Lily to take Alex in fully without being noticed. He was wearing nice tan chinos with a crisp white shirt that looked like it had just come off the ironing board; he complimented the look with a nice navy blue blazer.
“Alex!” came a loud yell. “Daddy says we have to tell Lily she looks pretty,” Will added, remembering his coaching.
“Hey, Buddy,” Alex replied casually, briefly looking at Lily. “Yes, she looks very pretty. I hope you don’t mind me borrowing her for the night. I got you something.”
Lily watched as Alex dug into the bag he had brought and pulled out a toy car that seemed to be handmade. It was made out of simple wire and sculpted into a car. Lily was surprised when the wheels moved. Alex gave her another smile before pulling out a small plush hippo for Lettie. Finally, he turned to Sarah and Mike and pulled out an oldlooking bottle of wine.
“Grandma dug into Grandad’s forgotten collection. She says you should take this as a thanks for the braai last week and for letting me take Lily out tonight,” he explained. “Don’t tell Uncle Andrew or Dad, though; they’ve been trying to claim the last few bottles since he died.”
Just before the taxi to the restaurant arrived, Mike took Alex aside, and they had a very quick conversation in Setswana while shooting glances over at Lily. Lily watched curiously. Alex, who was normally confident and proud, seemed deferential. After a few quiet words were spoken, Mike nodded and patted his shoulder. Lily realised that this was the warning speech Mike had been practising. It was the first time she noticed it, but it occurred to her that whenever Mike spoke to Alex, his body language changed, and he almost always deferred to the older man. Lily filed it away to ask about it later.
In the taxi, Lily leaned across to Alex and kissed him on the cheek. “You look very handsome tonight. What you did with them was really sweet. Where did you get that car?”
“They’re fairly easy to find at street markets and craft shops in Botswana,” Alex answered. “Will doesn’t really understand the idea of being from two countries, and I don’t think they’ve even started with Lettie, but Mike and Sarah tell him stories, and so do I when I babysit. I figured it was another way for Mike to talk to him about our other home.”
“That’s sweet,” Lily said softly, taking his hand before changing the subject. “What did Mike tell you before we left? Did you have to promise to keep my honour intact?”
“Not quite. He acknowledged we’re adults but he asked me to be respectful of the fact you are living with his family, and your family is trusting them to look after you. He just asked me not to put him in a position where he would have to explain to people he’s never met how their daughter got her heartbroken hurt living with them.”
“That’s sweet. Maybe I should complain that he never warned me about breaking your heart, and he’s being ist?” Lily joked, but Alex looked scandalised.
“Two things; one, I refuse to believe that you haven’t had any conversations with Sarah about us, and trust me, if they’ve happened, he knows you’ve had them. And two, Mike wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to you the way he spoke to me. In Botswana culture, he is my elder, and I’m expected to respect him and defer to him. He wasn’t talking to me as my friend and mentor but as my elder. He’s not that traditional, so he doesn’t make a big deal about it, but it’s important to me. Because of our close relationship, he’s become another one of my uncles. Uncles are an important part of our family dynamic. The proper word is Malome, but the first time I called him that, he laughed and said unless I was prepared to call all of his friends Malome, I should just stick to Mike.”
“Is that why you defer to him and Sarah in the same way you do your grandmother?” Lily asked.
“Yeah. They don’t impose it upon me or anything. It just feels natural.”
At the restaurant, Lily felt her nerves return. In her mind, it was ridiculous. She saw him almost every day, and they had never struggled for conversation. And now alone with him, she was scared of what the evening held. Seeking some normalcy, she returned to the conversation they had started in the car.
“I’ve never asked but did you know Mike in Botswana?” Lily started looking for an easy conversation.
“Not really. He’s about 13 years older than me. He moved here for University when I was 5,” Alex said while looking through the wine list. “I knew of him, though; our Dads were acquaintances, so I heard about him growing up. I met him properly just over 3 years ago. He was home for his dad’s funeral a little while after my mum died. Dad was at the funeral and asked him if he would mind hanging out with me; his mum died when he was a similar age the person he calls mum is actually his godmother. He took me under his wing and set me up with his Botswana mates to look after me. I actually started playing rugby because of him. I was acting out, so Mike and his best friend, Don, decided I needed an outlet for my grief and anger. Don helped out with coaching at the high school we all went to, so he made sure I got on the team. Between the two of them, they got me on track. Don was always a little tougher on me than the other guys. It made me a better player and student. I’d see Mike and Sarah when I came here for my visits with Grandma, and when they came to Botswana, they’d always check on me. Taking me along on their camping trips and things like that. Mike didn’t just teach me how to manage my grief; he’s also taught me what it means to carry two identities and two nationalities and be one whole person. Sometimes, it’s hard knowing where you belong being mixed, and Mike understands my point of view because he lived it before me. He was the one who gave me the idea of going to University away from the expectations of Oxford, but when I decided to stay, he supported me.”
“Isn’t it odd that you have basically the same background?”
“No,” Alex shrugged, putting the wine list down. “There are quite a few mixedrace kids in Botswana. You tend to find us anywhere the British once ruled. But we have all sorts of backgrounds; I have two cousins on my mum’s side who have an American dad. I’ve met kids with all sorts of European ancestry. Our stories are different. His dad met his mum when he first went to Botswana. My parents met in London while my mother was doing her masters’ and then my dad moved to be with her. Maybe the fact that we’re both from Oxford and have strong family connections to the university is a coincidence, but I don’t find it strange. Anyway, I don’t think you brought me here to discuss my connection with your boss.”
“Hey, that’s not fair,” Lily protested. “I want to know more about you and this world of generous people you’ve brought me into.”
Lily smiled as Alex laughed, “Hey, I didn’t bring you into this world. You accepted an invitation I knew nothing about.”
Alex’s laughter broke the knot of tension in Lily’s stomach, and she settled. She admired him as he took control of their dinner, ordering for both of them with only subtle glances at her for approval when he wasn’t sure. She accepted a glass of wine from the bottle he ordered before he caught her eyes.
“So?” He said softly. “We’re here and on a date.”
“Yep, how do you feel about it?” She asked.
“Honestly? Awkward,” Alex admitted. “I’ve been nervous all week. Like, what if this doesn’t go well, and I lose you as a friend?”
“I’ve had those same feelings all week, but I guess we don’t know until we try,” Lily admitted. “It’s not like we can go back to what we had before if this doesn’t work.”
“I think we’ll go back to exactly what we had before with you hating me,” Alex replied, grinning. “Look, while I was away, I thought about you every day. I remember being out in the bush with my friends and looking up at the stars and wishing you were with me. I was in one of my favourite places in the world, and it felt like something was missing. The only thing I could think of was you.”
“Alex… I missed you too. I wasn’t even home before I knew I was going to accept Sarah’s offer. I guess we’re on this train now, and the only way off is we crash and burn,” Lily mused.
“Lily, you’ve never struck me as the type to consider failure as an option,” Alex remarked. “I’m not going into this with any idea of crashing or burning.”
“Neither am I, but it would be poor planning to not at least acknowledge that it’s a possibility,” Lily countered.
“Lily, we’re going disappoint each other at some point; it’s inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be the end of us,” Alex pushed. “We’re going to fight; there are going to be days where you can’t stand to be around me; the question is, do we learn and grow together from those moments? Or do we let them break us?”
“You sound like Sarah,” Lily observed, drinking more wine.
“Until you came along, I was her favourite outlet for her wisdom. I think she’s using us as practice for when the kids get older.”
Lily laughed and again felt the tension of the moment leave her. She helped herself to some of the food on the table before looking at him again.
“So what now?” She asked.
“Well, we’re not far from Jericho, and Raoul’s does a good cocktail,” Alex answered with an easy smile. “But I guess you’re asking about us. Let’s keep that simple. We’ll have a nice time, and then I’ll take you home, where I believe you requested a goodnight kiss at the door. Then, if you want, we’ll go on another date, and we’ll keep following that pattern and see what happens.”
“You make it sound so simple,” Lily said, finishing the last of her wine.
“Because it is.”
Lily laughed as they finished the meal. She was pleased that Alex let her pay her half without grumbling, so she pretended not to notice when he left a generous tip. She felt comfortable as Alex gently placed his hand against the small of her back and led her out of the restaurant. She waited until they were halfway to the bar Alex had suggested before she stopped and pulled him into an embrace. Pulling his face down, she initiated their first kiss.
His lips were initially gentle, and she savoured their first connection. With his arms around her, Lily melted into his embrace, having never felt safer. As their kiss became more urgent and passionate, Lily was keenly aware of Alex’s strength and his restraint in not crushing her as he pulled her into him. Lily felt flushed when the kiss ended and wanted more. Before she could initiate another kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers, staring deep into her eyes.
“You’re incredible,” he whispered. “You’re beautiful, strong and independent, and you’re one of the cleverest people I know after my grandmother. You’re loving and kind. Whether or not we work out as a couple, I have no intention of letting you out of my life.”
Lily played his words through her mind as she lay in bed that night. He hadn’t just focused on her beauty. He had detailed other traits of hers that had barely come up when she had dated before. She felt like he saw all of her.
Lily woke up with a smile and no particular reason to get up. She was replaying the night before in her mind, remembering their conversation in the restaurant and savouring the moments that followed. Slowly, her hunger and need for coffee overtook her laziness. She made her way down for breakfast.
She smiled brightly at seeing Alex, who had Will in his lap while they played with his new toy car. Lily helped herself to the coffee pot on the table before smiling at the scene before her. For the first time since she had left Redcar, she felt like she had truly found a home in Oxford, a safe haven. She’d only ever admitted it to herself, and perhaps she had only realised after she had gotten to know the real Alex, but she had also been playing a character.
For close to a year, she had pushed back the poor workingclass girl to be someone else, someone that fit in the world that she had thought Oxford was. Now, she was having breakfast with a family who didn’t care about backgrounds or upbringings. She watched Alex and Mike, who had been born into that world, and neither cared about it. Alex had only joined it because he felt forced to, and Mike had avoided it entirely. Oxford was their home, not some prestigious place to attend university and enter the global elite.
Lily was brought out of her thoughts by Mike talking, “Lily, Sarah and my mother were having a chat last night after you left, and apparently, Mum thinks she isn’t getting her fair share of grandma time with kids, so we’re going to head down to her for two nights next weekend. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”
Lily looked up at Mike, then Sarah, who subtly shook her head and nodded towards Alex with a small smile. Lily picked up the hint and smiled.
“That’s really generous, Mike; please thank your mum for me,” Lily said, hiding her smile. “But I think I’ll stay here if that’s okay; I can use the free time to catch up with some reading.”
“Lily, we told you this is home,” Sarah interrupted, “you never need to ask if it’s okay to stay.”
For the next week, Lily planned her weekend alone with Alex. He would try to ask her about her plans when he visited the house or at the pub during their shared shifts, but she would either avoid the subject or tease him with small innuendos and hints.
“You’re just keeping me company while we watch a few movies, and maybe if you’re good boy, I’ll let you spend the night,” She whispered while they were collecting extra bottles of wine in the storeroom.
“You know if I spend the night, I might find it difficult to be a good boy,” Alex whispered back at her.
“Oh, I’m counting on it, but you have to earn the right to be a naughty one,” Lily teased as she walked away.
In her preparations, Lily had gone to the doctor’s office with Sarah and had been fitted with a contraceptive implant. The amount of time her vibrator now spent being charged had made her very aware once she opened that door, she wasn’t going to close it. There was also the issue of condoms; she did not doubt that if she asked Alex to use one, he would comply, but she didn’t want him to use one. Condoms were for the others, for the men she had used and had used her in return to scratch an itch. Alex wasn’t one of the others. He wasn’t just a convenient body to satisfy a need. He was the man that she was convinced she was falling in love with, and she wanted to feel all of him without any barriers or restrictions.
Lily’s nerves returned when the weekend finally arrived. It was an open secret that she was about to take her relationship with Alex to the next level, and her insecurities about not living up to the girls he had been with before crept back into her mind. When it was just the two of them, Sarah reminded her she was in control and didn’t have to do anything that she didn’t want to. Remembering what Alex had said on their date, she was sure Mike was reminding him to make sure she was comfortable.
When the big day arrived, Lily managed to hold it together long enough to accept goodbye cuddles from Will and Lettie before reassuring Mike and Sarah that she would be fine and would call in an emergency. Alone in the house with nothing to do, she let various scenarios for how the weekend would unfold play out in her head. Despite Sarah’s reassurances, the fear of not meeting Alex’s expectations still weighed heavily on her mind. Needing an outlet, she let herself into the garage gym and ran on the treadmill until her mind cleared.
In the shower, she shaved her legs and armpits but paused when she reached her pussy. She stroked the pubes she had let grow over the last few weeks. Her first thought was to shave herself bare, but she stopped herself. She had never liked the look of being bald. She had done it before dates because it was what she assumed was expected. But it wasn’t her. Alex didn’t want the character she played at College any more than she wanted the one he played. She had always found it a strange concept anyway. The pubescent wait for them to grow and feel like a woman, only to shave it all off in an effort to appear more desirable. Changing her mind, she found her little electric trimmer and trimmed it down to a neat covering before shaving her bikini line. If Alex wanted something different, they could discuss it later, but to her, it was more womanly and, therefore, ier.
Satisfied with her work, she picked a ier bra and knicker set before drying her hair and tying it up. Comfortably dressed in leggings and a hoodie, she made her way downstairs to make sure everything was set. Alex was bringing a takeaway from the local Chinese restaurant, and Lily had begged Mike for some of his South African beer. While she waited, she scrolled through the television, looking for a movie. She was just about to give up on finding the perfect romance movie when she saw it. Smiling, she queued it up just in time for the doorbell to ring.
She welcomed him with a soft kiss before taking the bag with the food out of his hand, giving him instructions to put his bag in her room and meet her in the kitchen. Before she did anything else, she went to the fridge and got him a beer before pouring herself a glass of wine. Lily busied herself looking for plates when Alex spoke.
“So Mike let you into his stash?” He asked.
“Sort of, I asked in my begging voice, and Sarah said yes before he could say no,” Lily replied, pulling out chopsticks, forks and spoons and turning her attention to sorting out the food.
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